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Is it worth waiting?

highkey need to rant but also need hella advice, sorry this is gonna be so long!

i was talking to this guy for a year and a bit, but he lived 12 hours away and wasn’t in the right state to meet/date.

i ended things a little over a year ago, and having come across bad situations with guys, i’ve now realised how much i miss him and i really want what we had back. he understood me in a way no one ever has, and we connected better than i do with my best friend or anyone else.

now, i was supposed to move an hour away from him but that fell through and ended up getting a job transfer to his city. i did message him about meeting, and told him that if we did, i would definitely catch feelings and asked that if he is seeing/speaking to someone, he may as well just leave me on read cause it’ll hurt less. i am suspicious about him and this one girl, but he replied. however he didn’t say anything about me catching feelings, he just said we can meet.

i’m terrified cause i have such a strong gut feeling that this is all happening for a reason, but at the same time i feel like i’m annoying him. i want him back more than anything, but why do these feelings have to come back after such a long time? 🥲🥲
Is it worth waiting?
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