Guys, Why Do I Stop Thinking About A Guy Who isn't Good For Me?

Question

Hey, guys!

So, this guy works with us temporarily. He is only like 22, I think. Long blonde hair, does mixed martial arts, has tattoos and is very carefree in life. Honestly, he looks a lot younger than he is. He can be the nicest guy in the world or he can be very cold and rude and distant. He is on a mission to live the best life he can, including not being serious in a relationship with anyone right now. His way to explain that he is seeing several women at a time, no consequences, no questions asked.

Even though I am not interested in being one of many women or casual relationships, I think about talking to him and getting to know him. I admit to finding him attractive. But, I don't know why. He doesn't treat me or others very well. He has been rude to me on via messaging him more than once or used a rude tone to talk to me as if I am not on the same intelligence level as him. He did show heavy interest in me initially but, since I didn't jump at the chance to sleep with him right away, he acts like he has no interest in me whatsoever.

Am I crazy here or is it just because I find him attractive and wish he would show more interest in me like he did once before?

Updates:

4 mo

He's there 3 days a week. His schedule isn't up yet because he is not back from leave until this weekend. So... I dont know. I would really like to talk to him or him to want to talk to me. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

20yearsolder | 814 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Opposites attract, you're intrigued with the carefree style, I'm guessing you don't live anything like that. You are very structured and you want to find out what makes this guy tick. Go for it, you might actually learn something. You may be college educated and he's not but he might be able to teach you a thing or two. Check him out and see how it goes

React

1 Person

Asker

4 mo
I would but, since I didn't take him up on his initial offer to have a casual sexual relationship and asked him why he found me attractive, why he wanted to sleep with me, he told me he has made the executive decision to not have any relationship with me because he feels it would open a "can of worms". 🙄
20yearsolder

4 mo
Then why are you dreaming of a dude that you can't have, you made the right decision. You should be proud of yourself. I don't know why you want to try to have a relationship with a guy that dumped you after you said you didn't want to have casual sex with him
Asker

4 mo
That's what I dont get either. I should find him repulsive and most of the time, I do. But, for some reason, the thought of seeing him or talking to him makes me anxious and I want to talk to him. Even though I know he's a huge jerk and I can't see anything in him but a spoiled immature reckless ass.
Show All Show Less
20yearsolder

4 mo
And the thought of getting to know him probably excite you just a little bit because he's different than everybody else you know, he's a rebel and a jerk but he's also very interesting
Asker

4 mo
Interesting maybe. But, there's no chance and no future since he is determined he doesn't want anything to do with me. So, what's the point exactly of even thinking about it?
20yearsolder

4 mo
It would be a challenge for you, it actually would add a little excitement to your life, go for it, what the hell does it matter It's just temporary. See if you can crack his hard shell,
Asker

4 mo
He comes back to work with us on Saturday or Sunday. Maybe I can see if he would treat me like a person, not ignore me or be a jerk. I just dont want to risk looking desperate when I know there are better men who have shown interest in me at my job. He just was the one who actually did anything about it, I guess. I mean, i think of myself as being okay looking as a petite, in shape redhead with big brown eyes.
20yearsolder

4 mo
I mean it's not like you're going to walk up there and pull your tits out, I need your attention. Try to make a conversation. Dude, I know we didn't hit it off great but at least we can be friendly. See where it goes from there
Asker

4 mo
I did say that to him last time we talked. He's on vacation until this weekend. So... Maybe he will speak to me at work?
20yearsolder

4 mo
Maybe, admit it, you really want him to talk to you
Asker

4 mo
I do. But, I dont see that happening. I dont think he would be kind if I said that to him
20yearsolder

4 mo
Maybe you need to flirt with him just a little bit, to get him interested
20yearsolder

4 mo
You're anonymous, I'm not one of your co-workers. Have you dreamed or thought about that young stud, why he gets so much pussy, what it would feel like to have him be with you?
Asker

4 mo
Maybe. I would like some reciprocation from him though. That's what I am afraid of. That nothing would happen.
20yearsolder

4 mo
Well, there isn't he doesn't talk to you is because he tried to get in your panties at first and you shut him down. Now you're interested, intrigued. Flirt with him, you know what's a temporary thing, why not have a little fun with the hot guy, see what makes him tick and how he gets all that pussy
Asker

4 mo
Honestly, I think that is why I do think about him. I dont know that he gets a lot of women. I think he wants a lot of women and he gets a few of them. I am interested in him in that way to be straight with you. I wish I could just be honest with him and tell him I do want that without him thinking it would make things weird but, I feel like he wouldn't risk it because I once told him I didn't like casual relationships that didn't go anywhere and he didn't like when I tried to talk to him more than for just that
Asker

4 mo
I could try to. Honestly, he said he doesn't like that I overthink things. Its not attractive so, I dont even know if he still finds me attractive
20yearsolder

4 mo
You probably do overthink things, overthinking brought you to the point of wanting to fuck this guy, wanting to feel what is young hard dick feels like buried in your hot little pussy.
Asker

4 mo
But overthinking is also what made this guy view me as a huge turn off. How do I change his mind? Can I?
20yearsolder

4 mo
Catch him alone, yes it will get you out of your comfort zone and say hey you remember when I told you I wasn't interested in some casual relationship, well I've changed my mind. You've intrigued me and I want you
Asker

4 mo
I honestly did try that and that's when he said the whole 'can of worms' thing. So... now what?
20yearsolder

4 mo
Maybe you brush up against him, Do your boobs stick out far enough that you could accidentally ;-) rub them on his shoulder
Asker

4 mo
My boobs are the biggest part of me. So, that wouldn't be hard. But, we dont always work on the same unit so, I would have to find him to do it. Which would mean I would have to ask where he is.
Asker

4 mo
Which I would love to do but, I am afraid he would tell me to leave him alone or not talk to him
20yearsolder

4 mo
What kind of work do you do? Whisper things to him, damn your ass looks great in those pants
Asker

4 mo
We are healthcare assistants. PCAs
Asker

4 mo
In a hospital
Asker

4 mo
He works 3 days a week, 12 hour days whereas I work 4 normal 8 hour shifts. Where we get placed during the day is random because we both work in a float situation. I dont want to be pushy and seem desperate but, I do want to connect with him. How do I do that after he has specifically mentioned that he doesn't want anything right now? Is it possible to change his thinking and just... give him what he wanted in the first place? Even if its just at work?
20yearsolder

4 mo
Why worry about coming off desperate as long as he's the only one that sees it. Tell him your willing to do it at work if that's what he wants. That's actually fucking hot. It would definitely be a turn on for me
Asker

4 mo
I think so too personally. It isn't so much about being desperate as it is pushing so he gets pissed and tells anyone that I am driving him crazy or tells anyone at my job that I was bothering him after he told me he didn't want to pursue anything more or something like that. I don't exactly know how to go for it and have it go well.

Answer 2

Asker

I would but, since I didn't take him up on his initial offer to have a casual sexual relationship and asked him why he found me attractive, why he wanted to sleep with me, he told me he has made the executive decision to not have any relationship with me because he feels it would open a "can of worms". 🙄

Answer 3

20yearsolder

Then why are you dreaming of a dude that you can't have, you made the right decision. You should be proud of yourself. I don't know why you want to try to have a relationship with a guy that dumped you after you said you didn't want to have casual sex with him

Answer 4

Asker

That's what I dont get either. I should find him repulsive and most of the time, I do. But, for some reason, the thought of seeing him or talking to him makes me anxious and I want to talk to him. Even though I know he's a huge jerk and I can't see anything in him but a spoiled immature reckless ass.

Answer 5

20yearsolder

And the thought of getting to know him probably excite you just a little bit because he's different than everybody else you know, he's a rebel and a jerk but he's also very interesting

Answer 6

Asker

Interesting maybe. But, there's no chance and no future since he is determined he doesn't want anything to do with me. So, what's the point exactly of even thinking about it?

Answer 7

20yearsolder

It would be a challenge for you, it actually would add a little excitement to your life, go for it, what the hell does it matter It's just temporary. See if you can crack his hard shell,

Answer 8

Asker

He comes back to work with us on Saturday or Sunday. Maybe I can see if he would treat me like a person, not ignore me or be a jerk. I just dont want to risk looking desperate when I know there are better men who have shown interest in me at my job. He just was the one who actually did anything about it, I guess. I mean, i think of myself as being okay looking as a petite, in shape redhead with big brown eyes.

Answer 9

20yearsolder

I mean it's not like you're going to walk up there and pull your tits out, I need your attention. Try to make a conversation. Dude, I know we didn't hit it off great but at least we can be friendly. See where it goes from there

Answer 10

Asker

I did say that to him last time we talked. He's on vacation until this weekend. So... Maybe he will speak to me at work?

Answer 11

20yearsolder

Maybe, admit it, you really want him to talk to you

Answer 12

Asker

I do. But, I dont see that happening. I dont think he would be kind if I said that to him

Answer 13

20yearsolder

Maybe you need to flirt with him just a little bit, to get him interested

Answer 14

20yearsolder

You're anonymous, I'm not one of your co-workers. Have you dreamed or thought about that young stud, why he gets so much pussy, what it would feel like to have him be with you?

Answer 15

Asker

Maybe. I would like some reciprocation from him though. That's what I am afraid of. That nothing would happen.

Answer 16

20yearsolder

Well, there isn't he doesn't talk to you is because he tried to get in your panties at first and you shut him down. Now you're interested, intrigued. Flirt with him, you know what's a temporary thing, why not have a little fun with the hot guy, see what makes him tick and how he gets all that pussy

Answer 17

Asker

Honestly, I think that is why I do think about him. I dont know that he gets a lot of women. I think he wants a lot of women and he gets a few of them. I am interested in him in that way to be straight with you. I wish I could just be honest with him and tell him I do want that without him thinking it would make things weird but, I feel like he wouldn't risk it because I once told him I didn't like casual relationships that didn't go anywhere and he didn't like when I tried to talk to him more than for just that

Answer 18

Asker

I could try to. Honestly, he said he doesn't like that I overthink things. Its not attractive so, I dont even know if he still finds me attractive

Answer 19

20yearsolder

You probably do overthink things, overthinking brought you to the point of wanting to fuck this guy, wanting to feel what is young hard dick feels like buried in your hot little pussy.

Answer 20

Asker

But overthinking is also what made this guy view me as a huge turn off. How do I change his mind? Can I?

Answer 21

20yearsolder

Catch him alone, yes it will get you out of your comfort zone and say hey you remember when I told you I wasn't interested in some casual relationship, well I've changed my mind. You've intrigued me and I want you

Answer 22

Asker

I honestly did try that and that's when he said the whole 'can of worms' thing. So... now what?

Answer 23

20yearsolder

Maybe you brush up against him, Do your boobs stick out far enough that you could accidentally ;-) rub them on his shoulder

Answer 24

Asker

My boobs are the biggest part of me. So, that wouldn't be hard. But, we dont always work on the same unit so, I would have to find him to do it. Which would mean I would have to ask where he is.

Answer 25

Asker

Which I would love to do but, I am afraid he would tell me to leave him alone or not talk to him

Answer 26

20yearsolder

What kind of work do you do? Whisper things to him, damn your ass looks great in those pants

Answer 27

Asker

We are healthcare assistants. PCAs

Answer 28

Asker

In a hospital

Answer 29

Asker

He works 3 days a week, 12 hour days whereas I work 4 normal 8 hour shifts. Where we get placed during the day is random because we both work in a float situation. I dont want to be pushy and seem desperate but, I do want to connect with him. How do I do that after he has specifically mentioned that he doesn't want anything right now? Is it possible to change his thinking and just... give him what he wanted in the first place? Even if its just at work?

Answer 30

20yearsolder

Why worry about coming off desperate as long as he's the only one that sees it. Tell him your willing to do it at work if that's what he wants. That's actually fucking hot. It would definitely be a turn on for me

Answer 31

Asker

I think so too personally. It isn't so much about being desperate as it is pushing so he gets pissed and tells anyone that I am driving him crazy or tells anyone at my job that I was bothering him after he told me he didn't want to pursue anything more or something like that. I don't exactly know how to go for it and have it go well.

Answer 32

IsoUser | 514 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

If something or someone seems to good to be true it usually is, to me it sounds kinda like you have cougar fever especially since you're going after a younger guy Lol

React

Asker

4 mo
I dont usually have any feelings for younger guys. Then again, I look closer to his age when people see me.

Answer 33

Asker

I dont usually have any feelings for younger guys. Then again, I look closer to his age when people see me.

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