Getting really annoyed with all these texting rules...

Alright.. soo..I've been friends with this guy online for nearly 3 years now. We've talked on the phone, skyped, etc. He's mentioned meeting me a few times, but not really pressured me. He's one of those guys that doesn't say much in a text..ya know? Talks on the phone like I do, IM's the same..etc..but texting on the phone, he doesn't say much. Sometimes in our conversations we'll both end up saying "sooo..." which I know it means neither of us know what to say. He says I'm not "open" enough, and I'm shy..but its not like he's coming up with any genius things to talk about either, ya know? If our conversations start getting "one-wordy" I'll talk about something else.. sometimes I won't hear from him for hours..sometimes a day. I've heard when the conversation starts running dry, you're supposed to stop talking to the guy and wait until he texts you. I've also heard that you're not supposed to reply back right away. I've gotten mad at him before for not texting me back..he called me and he said, "I'm not ignoring you..I either don't have my phone on me, or I'm really freakin busy.." (he's a Marine). He texted me yesterday morning and I said, "May I ask you a question?" Then I said, "Wait..Nevermind.." He said, "No. Ask." I said, " Whenever you tell me that you couldn't text me that true..or do you just not feel like texting me then?" He said, "No. Stop being weird. I have things to do during the day. I have responsibilities Lacy." I told him I was sorry, and I wasn't trying to act weird. He said okay..and didn't say anything else.. A few hours later I said, "Wow.. I just realized how needy I've been sounding.. I'm sorry.. I've been working on that." He said, "Ok Girly". He stopped talking again. He texted me this morning, "Hey".. I was half asleep, so I said, "Heyyy". He didn't respond. Hours later I said, "I'm sorry, I was sleepy earlier. How are you?" He said, "It's okay" and that's it. I don't know what to think. If he doesn't like me..then why does he keep texting me? A few days ago he was texting me throughout the whole day..and calling me every morning before he went to work. WTF.


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What Guys Said 1

  • When in the military, it means you have an unpredictable schedule. Sometimes your day is 9 AM to 5 PM, with very little going on besides servicing vehicles in your company's fleet and then conducting inventory on your connex units. Other times you're at the range all day, in an area with little or no reception, which you are too busy to think about anyways because you have six guns to qualify on, and you have to wai two hours for each one.

    The whole point is that he has a varying schedule, and that's how it is.

    Further, if the guy didn't like you, then he wouldn't bother communicating with you, definitely not for three years. I don't understand what rules you are referring to, because you don't mention any. Also, based on what you're saying, I don't see this guy applying ANY rules to the conversation you are having, and I think the problem has to do with insecurity on your part more than anything else.

    My question to you is, do you have an expectation of this guy? If so, what is that expectation?

    • Well, women keep saying things like, "Don't text him back.. let him text you." "wait an hour to text him" "If the conversation is getting dull, don't say anything back, and wait for him to text you again." "Don't text him back yet, let him miss you.." I don't understand it.. I hate games. Yeah.. I do get insecure..and I'm trying not to..and trying not to mention anything to him. I don't want to come off as needy, clingy, etc. I'm not sure if I have any expectations. I do have hopes though..

    • Show All
    • Haha.. Well, I listened to one because she used to be my therapist. :P It has made me more paranoid though. Especially when they're telling me to read He's Just Not That Into You. I haven't talked to him about my hopes. When he mentioned me coming there, we talked a little about the idea of it..and he said, "Would you want to go home?" I wasn't sure what that meant. When I asked, all he said was "We would just have to see how we were together."There's more to it, but this won't let me type it all

    • Well, send me a private message and we can connect.

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