Why does she tell me she'll call me later and doesn't?

So a girl that I had a nice fling with before she moved is someone I'm still in contact with. She has been gone just about a month now and we've talked almost everyday since she's been gone either call or text.

So Friday I sent her a picture message of a place we had gone for drinks when I was out with friends. I never heard anything back, but then realized my phone was acting weird with picture messages. One of my friends I was with didn't get some I sent, and I didn't get his so I figured the message I sent her never got there. I called her on Saturday mid day and I got no answer. So no big deal since she usually calls me back. Well Saturday passed and I heard nothing from her. One of my friends tried to reassure me that sometimes calls actually don't go through, although I wasn't weighing into that theory too much. Although ironically today (Sunday) his sister told him she didn't receive any of his firs 4 calls to her before she finally answered so maybe its a true possibility. Well today she called me. I answered but told her I was about to eat lunch with friends, which I was, so she said she understood. I told her I'd call her when I was done. So when I got home about an hour and half later I gave her a ring. There was no answer so once again I think no big deal, she called me so she will call back. So an hour goes by and I think "did it actually go through." So I decide I call one last time for today. I did and no answer. She texts me right after and says she's watching a ball game at a bar and would call me when it was over. I say OK. Well now its been 4 hrs since that game was over and no call. I know people get busy and she is actually starting a new job tomorrow, but why tell me she's going to call to not do it? I mean she called once so it was on her mind, and then told me she'd call after I had tried calling so it was definitely on her mind then. I'm not mad, I'm actually upset I didn't get to talk to her for the last few days and thought I would be today. Do women do this? I mean I know she's a nice girl, very down to earth so I don't think she would play games, so should I just chalk this up to forgetfulness or what? What also worries me is that I'm not important enough to remember to call. Like I said we have talked about everyday so I know she's comfortable with me. I just received a card from her telling me how she's happy I'm in her life so that all to me is obviously good. She also has told me to visit, which I am planning to at the end of this month, its just that when she doesn't seem to make me a priority I get way insecure about the situation.

Do I need to just relax or should I be worried?


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  • You need to relax.

    its just that when she doesn't seem to make me a priority I get way insecure about the situation.

    --> Are you her boyfriend? No, you're not. But you sure are treating her like she's your girlfriend even though it was just a fling.

    This girl moved away from ya. Treat her like a friend, and settle your emotions down. Stop acting like she's the most important thing in your life. That makes you desperate and needy and f*cking clingy.

    The way I view it is this - I call/text and talk to girls when I WANT TO. If they don't pick up, fine, whatever. I'll call the second girl up, or the third girl. If none of them are receptive, I could care less. If I need a girl's opinion or I need to talk to a female, I'll go out in public to a f*cking grocery store, gas station, or on Facebook and attempt to chat one up. They're abundant.

    And if girls call me - I'll sometimes pick up if I want to, but if I'm busy, no dice. I do it on MY TERMS, not hers. So when she said she'll call you back later, she was practically LEADING the interactions between you, when she could do it on her watch. She won't be calling you when she's banging some other dude she just met. Should you care? Nah, she's not your girlfriend.

    Why the heck do you talk to her everday since she's been gone? Do you have better things to do with your life? Or do you miss her so much that you just NEED to talk to her?

    So the next time you call her and she doesn't pick up, leave a voice mail saying "I want to talk to you, call me back later at [time]". Tell her what to do, and if she follows through, GOOD. If she doesn't, then wait a week or perhaps not at all.

    • Thanks for the response. I talk to this girl everyday not because I need to its because I want to. I do not do all the calling and texting, she reaches out to me so I will answer if I'm available. Like I said I called, she didn't return my call til today and I told her I was busy and would call her later. I did that and then she told me she'd call back after the game. She didn't. I'm not going to hound her I just wanted some opinions about why she would not call.

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