Should I leave him or stay?

OK well my boyfriend is 6 years older than me and it didn't seem like it mattered when we first started dating but now it's starting to seem like we're just not right for each other. We have a son together (it wasn't planned) and have been making it work but we don't live together and he hardly ever comes over to see him I currently don't have a car so I have a difficult time going to see him myself. Some days he'll talk to me and text me but others it's like he doesn't even know me. I'm considering just leaving him but the problem is I still have feelings for him and I don't want to break up with him and realize after that I really love him. I have a lot of trust issues since my parents divorce and since then I've been so messed up I've had depression, was anorexic at one point, and even thought of killing myself. My boyfriend knows this and he has also suffered from depression I just don't know what to do. Also every time I ask him if he wants to be with me he says of course I do and we don't really talk about it and just end up having sex but I'm also worried that if I leave him that it could cause my son to have problems in the future. I want to be the best mom I can be without hurting my son but I also want him to have a good role model for a father.

  • I should leave him
    Vote A
  • Stay with him
    Vote B
  • Try talking to him again.
    Vote C
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What Guys Said 2

  • I can't really tell what is causing the problem. It may be you pushing him away, or it could be him pushing you away. The two of you may need to get couples counseling. You need to work on communication with each other. As well as working on confronting your issues. He may have his own issues that needs to be addressed as well. I would suggest counseling even if the two of you don't decide to stay together. After all you don't want to pass these issues, down to your son.

    • The only problem is I don't know if we can afford counseling right now I'm still in school and only babysit every once in a while to earn some money (I know it probably sounds silly) and he's only a security guard he hasn't even been help paying for Mikey (our son) like he's supposed to for like a month (he just got this security guard job and quit his old one) my parents have been helping me out with things for Mikey when I need it.

    • Have you even checked your local area for counseling help? You may be able to find something inexpensive.

    • I have but not recently I'll check again though.

  • First, please space things a bit better next time :P paragraphs help readability on the computer (if it was a book I'd have no problem, but ya..)

    Second, if you're feeling this way and talking with him is making no impact then it probably is best for things to end. So ya, I'd say leave him, but do it kindly (of course). However, from the sounds of it if you really do love him... well try talking to him one more time. If things don't change you gotta end it for yourself. If you do have trust issues you should probably seek help or work on them yourself and not date until you get them worked out.

    What would cause your son to have problems is if you're unhappy in a relationship (or he is) and it's not a positive environment. A single parent isn't a bad thing for a kid. Being in a home where there's any negativity is.

    I do hope this helps. Best of luck. If you still love the guy, give him another chatting to, try and seek help and work on your trust issues and if nothing changes best to end it and focus on being a good mom anyways and whatnot.

    • Sorry I'll remember that for next time, and OK I go to see him today after he gets out of work so I'll talk to him today about it. Hopefully things go well. Wish me luck!

    • Show All
    • It's understandable.

    • yea thanks.

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