Are guys uncomfortable hanging out with girl best friends?

The answer to this might be a little obvious but it's been on my mind for a quite a while now. Are guys uncomfortable hanging out with their girl best friend because they are dating another girl?

My best guy friend and I recently had some confusion with our feelings for each other. A couple weeks ago we had our last "resolving" conversation, and bottom line is we do love each other but as no more than friends. I figured this was the reason why we hardly talked anymore- because he thought I was in love with him or something, which I'm not and I told him that and I know that he is dating someone, X (even after she knew he and I slept together while they had thing going on, although we both told her it was just the action, no feelings), and it's getting serious.

Because of this, I feel like we are growing apart. We were on the phone just earlier and he was telling me that he was on the way to see X because he's been hanging out with his best guy friend a lot lately. But I'm thinking, what the hell. He's been hanging out with both of them a lot lately. I really don't mean to sound or be selfish, but did it ever cross his mind to hang out with me? After all, I am one of the few close people in his life. Is it because I'm a girl and he feels like it would be wrong to be "seeing" two girls at the same time, even though we are not on that dating level? Does he feel like it would bother X (in other words, is he reassuring X because he and I both know that even though she's cool with me she gets jealous of us)?

I do miss him but I really didn't have much to say to him on the phone, and actually don't have anything to say to him these days. I feel like he felt obliged to talk to me and whether or not he senses the difference in our relationship, he acts like everything is A-OK. I'd actually planned on not talking to or seeing him for a while just to shake off all the feelings of missing my best friend, that keep coming at me. And after that phone call and how I just wanted to end it, I know I should definitely stick to my plan.

Answers would help though. As I said, I have been thinking about it lately and just want to understand a little more.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds a little more serious then the average around your girlfriends best friends. I could see that he's not kicking it with you because of X. My ex didn't even like me hanging out with one of her friends. Jealous can be an issue but another thing could be that, he doesn't want to spark a flame between the two of you.

    • Thanks for the insight. I did notice that we were reaching the bottom line of "friends only" when he and X started getting closer, and especially when they started having sex. Before that, we would act couply with each other despite the fact that they were talking and messing around. I guess it's sex over friends.

    • Sadly with guys it is 9 times out of 10.

    • haha I'm not surprised, it's funny and understandable.

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