He broke up because he's confused but he is on dating sites as a test?

well my boyfriend broke up with me over 2 wks ago now because he's confused how he can love me so much but have problems with me. this is his longest relationship at 1.5 years and just entered the comfortable phase. I understand he's confused BUT within 2 weeks he's since joined a dating site and talking to girls...i confronted him with this and he said he's doing it Because he's bored, confused and trying to test himself and only talking to them with no view to meet anyone. even though we've broken up because I know thing scould potentionally get better between us I can't help but feel like he's cheating.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like the break up was all on his terms and had nothing to do with how you felt. Now, many break ups occur because one person did something unacceptable to the other, but usually both people see it coming.

    In your case, you clearly did not, and because of that don't feel like the relationship is over.

    So you are going to continue feeling this way until you find a way to face the fact that you are broken up. Believe it or not, there is a positive here, in that since you don't have a full concept about why he broke up, and that it was a total surprise, you can define for yourself why YOU don't want to be with him anymore.

    That may seem easier said than done, which is understandable, however the fact remains that you are broken up, and in order to re-visit the relationship, both of you have to agree to it. You can't control him, you can only control you so start to review the relationship as to what errors he made, and what lies he told, and what qualities he displayed that you know you do not want in a person.

    When you begin to analyze your time with him from this perspective, it will help put some logic into why you are broken up, so you can begin to move forward.

  • I feel like I just answered this.

    Do you want to discuss this privately?

    • thanks but I asked him if he wanted to talk again in a few weeks to see if there's still feelings but to keep my trust I asked if he could stop talking to the girls - he didn't respond, then I saw him back on the dating site next day and phoned him and asked why he couldn't just tell me straight. So had an argument and I told him he should have set me straight after I asked him out right and that I can't trust him if he thinks there's something better out there so that its over and done.

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