Did I do the right thing by breaking up?

I have been dating a guy who's divorce was final a few months ago. He works in town where I live for a month then goes home for two weeks. I have known him for about a year so he says he started "looking for me" around town before the divorce was final but didn't see me again until recently. We get along great, like all of the same things, and I went home with him and met his family. They loved me and I loved them. They all told me they have never seen him this happy. When I left he picked up his daughter and stayed in town for a week where I heard nothing... No text no phone calls after a month of hearing from him every day. I realize spending time with her was important but to not want to talk to me at all? When he got back here he claimed he still wanted to see me but things are very different and I'm hurt after last week. He says he is just lost right now. I broke up with him told him work through things and then maybe find him. Just can't believe as crazy as he seemed about me he would just stop wanting to talk and pull away. Did I do the right thing?


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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like there is something in the story that we don't know tied to this sudden change in him. It could be an external thing or person. Or it could just be an internal thing like a fear of commitment suddenly kicking in. He has a very recent divorce so it is possible that he wanted to just pretend he could jump into a new happy relationship without spending time grieving or healing and then it hit him suddenly. The sad thing is he doesn't sound willing or maybe able to communicate openly with you about what is really going on. Maybe he's refusing to or maybe he himself is pretty confused.

    I think the first thing to do would be to try to facilitate him to communicate more. I don't know how hard or well you tried to help him do that. Another option would be to suggest or help him find a good therapist to work through whatever is going on, possibly grief after the divorce.

    If he would do none of that, then I think you're certainly within your rights to break up with him for the moment. And maybe he just needs more time to heal before you can work things through. If you really think this is someone you could be with in the long term, then let him know that and perhaps be patient with him. In the meantime you could still see other people.

  • yes you did the right thing. he is clearly is up to something and or not that into you


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