Torn between the two, who should I choose?

I'm have been in a relationship for 6 years. We had a conversation regrading intimacy and I was told that he has been hurt before therefore he doesn't want to emotionally attached to anyone. As for me I am very passionate and romantic and need this kind of attention.

I know he is not going to change because he says that just the way he is regardless of what I need. He may try a few times only when I say something about it but it's not heartfelt. RECENTLY I met someone else and he is everything that I want and need but we have only known each other for a few months. he wants me to be with him, but I have invested so much in my current relationship, I just don't know if I should just go with my heart and go for it or stay where I am.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should go with the new guy. If it feels like the right thing in your heart then it's the right thing. I am a big believer in that guiding voice.

    I understand the time you have committed to your current mate. But if you've given him six years and he still can't trust you and open up into a full relationship, then I think it's fine to move on. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what happened to him before. We have all been hurt, some more than others, and that can make it hard to trust someone else. But that leap of faith has occur at some point. I'm all for giving someone a few extra months' time because we have to go at our own pace. Yet if you aren't the one who hurt him, why is he punishing you for it? To me that's weak. I am willing to bet that this recent guy has also been hurt, but it doesn't sound like he wants to blame you for it. I'd move on. I think you've made as much of an effort as could ever be wanted.

    • Thank-you so much for your answer....and you are RIGHT!

    • I think I might be this time. Keep in mind that you've got a right to be happy too. I wish you the best of luck.

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What Guys Said 1

  • A young Buddhist monk walked with an elder monk on their way back to their temple after several days of travel. On the way, they came to a creek bed, the banks of which had softened to a wet, slushy mess. At the edge of the creek stood an attractive young woman dressed in traditional gowns, who was obviously wanting to cross the water but had no idea how to contend with the mud. If she attempted to traverse it, her legs would surely sink shin-deep into the muck.

    As they approached the young lady, the younger monk averted his eyes and looked down, for theirs was a stern discipline, and monks were not allowed to gaze upon a woman, let alone speak to or interact with her, particularly when the woman was as fetching and young as this one. To his horror, however, the older monk walked straight toward the woman and asked her if she needed to cross. The woman shyly said yes, and without another word, he hoisted her piggy-style onto his back and carried the woman across the creek. The younger monk followed them across the creek, stunned. Once on the other side, the woman profusely thanked her new friend, shook his hand, and resumed her journey, disappearing into the trees.

    The young man was aghast, but respectful of his elder, he held his tongue. For three hours they walked side by side, all the while the student confused as to how his companion could so flagrantly violate one of the cardinal rules of their temple. The older one had, after all, not only engaged the woman, he had spoken to her, and then not only did he touch her, he carried her on his back! How could such a thing be justified?!

    For another hour they walked in total silence, and finally came the point when the young man could stand it no longer. He stepped forward two paces and then whirled on his walking companion to face him in anger. "How could you do that?!" he shouted.

    "Do what?" asked the older monk, looking at him.

    He rolled his eyes. "It is a sin to touch a woman, a violation to even gaze upon her, and yet you spoke with her. her hand!" He sputtered in his anger. "You carried her across the creek! YOU CARRIED HER!!"

    "And you still carry her," said his older friend, smiling the faintest of smiles and bowing slightly. "I left her back at the river."


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