After a first date, do you give a "report" to a close friend or family member?

[OlderAndWiser]

And then she said, "You're not nearly as goofy as I thought you were!" and I guess that's a good thing, so. . .

I have a friend who got divorced after being married for 32 years. He and I work together and do some social things away from work. His divorce was final in January, 2022 and I introduced him to online dating. He has been dating very actively since then but it has been a LONG time since he was dating. He never actually admitted it, but I have the sense that he feels insecure about re-entering the "dating wars" so he has a big need to talk and get some validation for what he is doing and experiencing. Every time he has a first date, I get a report the next day: how she looked, how she acted, what they talked about, if there were any red flags, if he felt a spark for her, whether he's going to ask her for a second date, etc.

Do you have a friend or family member with whom you routinely discuss your dating adventures? If so, do you rely on them for advice and guidance regarding your dating relationships?

Yes, I give a report to a family member.

Yes, I give a report to a friend.

I tell anyone who might ask, but I don't routinely give reports on my dating.

No, I don't discuss my dating life with anyone else.

[SaoirseS]

I never gave a report, but that didn't mean people wouldn't ask about it. If it was a friend asking, she or he would more be interested in the event (the movie, the concert, etc) rather than the date himself. If it was my mother, she couldn't have cared less where we went or what we did, as her interests were in determining if the guy had any potential to be the father of her grandchildren lol.

[OlderAndWiser]

Fortunately, THOSE interrogations have come to an end, yes?

[SaoirseS]

Sort of lol. My mom and mother-in-law drop hints once in a while.

[OlderAndWiser]

So now it's not 'who is going to be the father of my grandchildren' but 'when are the grandchildren getting here?'

[SaoirseS]

Exactly. My mom turns 66 this Summer and she’s in a bit of a hurry.

[OlderAndWiser]

Old folks are supposed to be more patient! :) :) :)

[SaoirseS]

I know!

[OlderAndWiser]

I know firsthand!

[SaoirseS]

😀😀👍👍

[SaoirseS]

Thanks for MHO!

[midnightmoon05]

Yeah. I used to call my best gag friend all about my date because he is older and wiser than me. 😊😊

[OlderAndWiser]

And who would that be? :) :) :)

[lilyanony1]

I tell my friend, my male friend.
In all honesty I'm a little embarrassed about what has happened with a lot of the guys I've been seeing.
It's almost like they make a plan to kind take the piss out of the women they're seeing.
I didn't really understand it tbh.

They may very well be friendly and gentlemanly at first but the moment they appear to get close to the deed on date 3/4 or more they show some really selfish behaviour.
I didn't really get it tbh.

Sexually, and emotionally.

It's like they play games...

So that can only mean that they don't really want to date and have a relationship...


They date you just to get their leg over...

Some might say to me umm duh!

But actually it's being conned. There are options to say casual, hook up, not sure yet.
And that will allow you to get to the right dating pool.
I feel incredibly cheated when a guy effectively treats me like a bit of skirt!


Your value seems to go down the moment you show them you like them! 🤔😑😒

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm sorry to hear that you have had those experiences. Here's a male perspective on when a guy wants to have sex and what it means:

Men, Women, and Sex: We Both Want It...But Not Necessarily at the Same Time! ↗

[meetkitty123]

Oh dear Your poor friend. He is unsure and right now your his training wheels. Thats sweet of you. I personally boarder between keeping my dating life to myself. If anyone asks me its usually because by that point I'm smitten and its hard to hide the gushing blushing attacks or its hard to hold back the tell tale smiles gleaming eyes followed by unexpected little sighs. By the time anyone can guess Im dating im 4 or 5 mos in and falling for the man. And if it's not going well no one would know because Id end it quick and there's no tell tale signs. I dont openly tell people until or if We ever get to the "I love you". Before then even if im blushing and glowing and Im asked I try to hide it.

[Ευδεμονια]

I usually report to my two best friend, one is a guy and other is a girl… so I can have a feedback especially on my behaviour. I’m basically insecure, I find myself a lot in your friend, I’ve been out of dating world for 10 years, let’s say I just tried this year after a very long time (but I’m about to stop again).
I’m insecure and inexpert so I have to confront with others that have an external perspective in order to know if my behaviour has been good or not so I can adjust my behaviour eventually and if things are going well.

[melanieeeB]

In the past my friends would know about a date bevor I even went and of course ask me afterwards how it went and I would tell them, called conversation lol
But lately I don't tell people about men that I meet and so nobody asks directly and I don't start the conversation

[ethanallen]

Men will give a report to every man in his circle of friends if the date when poorly and the woman acted like a bitch. Men don't want other men walking into a trap so they will spread the word about a woman's character so no other men will waste their time on her.

[libsaretards]

Yes. If I go on a first date, someone is going to know. More than likely at least my mom and best friend are going to know. One, I want someone knowing my location and expected time of return in case something happens. Two, I like letting people I trust deeply knowing how the date goes so maybe they can spot something I missed.

[Chazmatazz269]

I hope for his sake that you remain accepting of his need to express himself. Most guys don’t have that, and it too often results disastrously. No pressure! Ell oh ell!

[OlderAndWiser]

We were together and he is a little bit eccentric but has a heart of gold, so I'm in it for the long term!

[Chazmatazz269]

Respect!

[hIopinionated_]

I have a blabber mouth when excited. Completely opposite to my normal loner self


Interesting how that works

[Smoke-n-Growls]

My friend and I will meet over coffee to chat about dating.

It's not really reporting as it is just having a safe space to talk things out.

[Sixgunsound]

We’ve been together ten years, and most of the people I knew before are either gone or also married.

[MikeInHawaii]

The college I went to was small and a gossip mill. An innocuous comment that a girl was cute might get back to her as I said I wanted to fuck her. I learned not to say anything about dates.

[Wubs3000]

Ngl I always wanna talk about it with someone so I just sneak it into a convo with my sister. I'm excited

[laurieluvsit]

Yes, my sisters know 'everything'! ... lol

And vise versa :)

[DDaniella14]

My best friend is still told me that she gave my sister's boyfriend a handjob and she was only 12 years old.

[laurieluvsit]

@DDaniella14
Wow!

[Sarahplus2]

I talk to a friend how the date went but I don't discuss it like a report card, especially if sex involved.

[19magic]

Yeah I'd tell my friend maybe not straight away but I will probably end up telling her.

[Phoenix98]

Ehh not really. Though they will try to pressure details out of me.

[YollyM]

I tell a handful of people who I feel comfortable with.

[Blueeyes81]

I keep my dating and relationships close to my heart and rarely ever discuss them.

[msc545]

I very rarely date, and really never discuss it with anyone after the fact. Before I might ask for a restaurant recommendation but that's it.

[Pudsmucker]

It is nobody's business who you date. You don't have to tell people what you did or where you went.