Why do I struggle to get a date?

I find it really hard to get a date with girls. I am told I am funny, interesting, good looking (most girls say I am an 8/10), caring, trustworthy, always happy, good job, adventurous...basically girls have said I am the 'perfect guy'. But, very rarely do any girls want to date me, or even hook up. I used to get attention just walking down the street, but now I get nothing, and nothing has changed, except I now have a better job and I am much happier than I used to be.

I recently went on my first date in 2 years! And it all collapsed after 2 months, despite us getting on like a house on fire.

I am stuck. I don’t understand what girls want. I have even tried just doing nothing, as some of my friends have said I might be trying too hard, but then I just don't get noticed at all.

Is it true girls like the 'bad boys? I have noticed that the more risky guys have much more luck. But then, the girls complain that their boyfriend is a twat and they can't find any nice guys. But I’m right under their noses and they turn me down.

I’m stuck. Help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • hep , what you discribed is called being the nice guy. girls may like many of your atitudes and things you do and relegate you to just friend statis but will base any future boyfriends on you. may even say to you something like (present bf) why can't he be more like you?

    general the type atitudes these girls are giving you fade by age 25 or slightly older because by then they realize that the badboys are exactly that bad news boys. and then they start appreciating the nice guys more . but as a rule most nice guys have already been snatched up by nice girls. what few are left like you are left puzzeled.

    good news though , you may have been flirted with by 1/2 doz or so girls and not realized it!

    ya I know "WHAT?" there are girls that are exremely shy that have been flirting with you but their flirting is different than a more confident girls. its more secretive .

    do a google on shy girls body language and signals read as many as you can from both categories (body and signals) as said you may have noticed girls doing these things but never

    equated them to as flirting with you. also many of these type girls already want to be with you but just to shy to approach.

    if you read my profile you might understand why I understand your predicament and believe me this stuff works. knowing body language and how to interpret it. their are positive and negative signals that girls give but generally speaking many nice guys don't know these facts. its possible that many of the girls you thought and maybe even tried to date were giving you only luke warm to minimal responses body language wise. other than that asaid your a great guy for a girl but just not at the present for them or so they think until they do wise up and realize bad boys aree exactly that bad news boys.

    • What you say about the good guys being already matched up with the good girls, I can relate to. I see it everyday, and yes it puzzles me where the rest of the good girls are, or where these guys have got them from. What you say about the shy girls, I'll look into a bit more. I've never really thought about it. Thanks!

    • believe me you thank me profusely latter if you do read a lot of them . theirs even sites that tell guys how to flirt back or even date shy girls. by the way to find out how to date shy girls you don't have to go far generally can be found mixed in with shy girls body language searches.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Guys Said 3

  • Sociologists and writers have recently picked up that there seems to be a backlash among men in their 20's and early 30's when it comes to dating. Many like you are just sick of it and have decided dating just isn't worth it anymore.

    Some of what you are referring to is captured in this short article, link

    You may find it interesting.

  • You have to act like you don't care whether they like you or not. I was in the same boat as you when I started dating again fulltime after about 6 years of being in one serious relationship after another. I am described very similarly to you but it just wasn't working out. The less attention I paid to the girl I was talking to, or out with, the more respectful they treated me. They're generally pretty f*cke in the head like that. It's not that they "like" bad boys (well some do) it's that bad boys just happen to exhibit the dismissive qualities that turn them on. They think that if a guy isn't trying to get their attention then that means he doesn't need them so he must be a high value guy. I guess the fact that this means (logically) that they are not high value women is lost on them, as is most logic.

    Take women as seriously as you would a 12 year old cousin. Once they give you signs it's OK to touch them, you can basically do what you want after that. That is literally all there is to it with 90% of these wrecks. Enjoy.

    • Cheers. Wise stuff. It makes sense when I read that. Ill try it. Thank you.

  • do you usually get stuck in the friend zone?

    • Thats where is usually ends up, yeah.

    • although you maybe good-looking and have all the qualities that a woman may want, you probably don't escalate. for example everyday you might be doing the same thing and like a dog people will get tired of learning the same old tricks. try make-outs, spending time with them, ask them out on dates and express your personality. don't rely on your looks so much because I was in tht predicament and it wasn't working out for me. so I began doing so and I got better and longer relationships