Weird situation with a guy I used to date

Alright, this is a bit complicated

I dated a guy for 6 months while I lived in london, he was my first boyfriend and we lived together the whole time we dated. We spent a lot of time together, but I had to go back home in July.

I was really upset, but I'm horrible at talking about issues, when I first found I had to leave, I kinda said, "i hate that we have to break up" without really opening up the issue. I really just assumed, and he didn't say anything

I was really upset when I had to leave, and asked him multiple times if I could call and skype him. I thought I would be back home for a while, and didn't think I could do long distance, as well, I was worried I would put him in the awkward position where he would have to say no. Now I'm thinking I'll be back in September ( which I haven't told him, cause, once again, I'm scared of being in an awkward situation where he doesn't want it)

Anyways, what the issue is, is that when I first came back, I would call him and he would talk to me on Facebook, either way, we both initiated contact equally. It was kinda weird, cause there's still sexual tension there, but we're not in a we're kinda in between friends and a couple.

Everything was fine for about 3 weeks, we talked everyday or every second day. But four days ago, I left him a fbook message and he didn't reply... I skyped him on Friday and it was fine, but then I got a bit drunk, and skyped him twice more throughout the night (which was very bad, cause he doesn't like when I'm too drunk) I decided not to talk to him on Saturday, and was busy all day on Sunday. I would see him online, but he wouldn't initiate contact anymore, which frustrated me, so I decided not to talk to him for a while. I held out until Monday, when I chatted with him on Facebook, but halfway though, for no reason, he just didn't reply. He stayed online for a while, then logged off.

I got really upset, because it was like everyhting was fine until Friday, and since then, I've felt frustrated and crappy and really sad. I know we're not together, and he shouldn't feel obligated to talk to him, but I don't want to lose him, and talking to him makes me feel happy.

A little background on him, he's german, and typically not very outspoken about his emotions. While we skyped once he said, "talking to you always makes me happy" he would occasionally say things like that during the relationship, but its rare. I'm the complete opposite, every conversation, I say I miss you.

I'm just worried I'm coming off as too clingy, he's encouraged me to talk to him about problems while we were together, but now that we're not, I don't know if I should. especially since its rather silly.

I don't want him to forget about me and I don't want to grow apart. I would like to keep talking to him regularly ( at least every second day) but I don't know what to do now. I've initiated contact so many times in a row now, that the ball is in his court. Should I talk to him?

I really want to stress that we're not in a relationship


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Long distance is difficult and you may just be chasing a fantasy and the associated romance.


What Girls Said 1

  • talk to him through e-mail

    • its still so impersonal, I won't be able to see his reaction and judge his body language

      i was thinking of calling him