Do you consider a high body count to be a red flag?

[siseñor]

What's high to you, and do you consider it to also be specific to their age or the types of relationships they've been in? For example long-term relationships in comparison to hookups.

This is also dependent on the type of relationship you 🫵🫵 are looking for and your experience.

Thank you

[MrOracle]

Most men care a lot about a woman's body count IF they're considering her for a serious relationship - but this won't keep many (most?) men from pursuing a physically attractive girl for casual sex, especially if she's highly likely to give it. To put it another way, girls with high body counts can still get male attention, but it's going to be sexual attention almost exclusively, because most men will consider that girl to be "for recreational use only."

Another thing a lot of women don't seem to understand is that there's no "reset" or way to compensate for a high body count - the more people you've slept with, the lower your value to men as a relationship partner. Again, don't be confused by the fact that men will still pursue a high-body-count woman for casual sex - men generally don't care about body counts when it comes to casual sex partners, but the vast majority of men would never take such a girl seriously as a potential relationship partner.

Average Social Market Value (SMV), by age and sex

Men (on average) start their adult lives with ZERO relationship value to women, and it's up to each man to work hard to improve himself in a variety of ways in order to gain value. This is extremely hard on most guys, especially when young, but as men gain status and resources over time, their relationship value goes up. In other words, men's value comes much later on average.

It's almost the opposite for women - women START their adult lives at near max relationship value to men, peaking around age 21-22, and falling off from there. Many of the things that men value are connected to a woman's youth: her beauty, her purity, her fertility, and her inexperience (i. e., she hasn't already experienced every single thing life has to offer). But with every man she gets with, this value is reduced, and years going by also reduces it because beauty and fertility still fall off over time, even if she remains a virgin (though a 30-year-old virgin is still going to be fairly desirable).

Perhaps the biggest lie that women are taught is that an education, career, and high income will make them more desirable to men. This is FALSE - men do NOT care about these things - it's women who care about those things in men. Men are different! Men value youth, purity, fertility, femininity, submissiveness, cooperation, and peace - no where does career or income factor in there.

This is important for women to understand, because if she hopes to have a husband and children, she's going to have access to the best men when she's young, and the more she lowers her value via age and - ahem - "experience" - the lower the quality of the men she will have access to. This doesn't mean she can't find a man at 31 with 50 bodies - it just means that he's going to be a low-quality man. Her ability to attract higher-status men by offering casual sex is irrelevant - those men will never commit to her; they're looking for 22-25-year-olds with ultra-low body counts when they're ready to commit.

[RavVid]

Very well explained. I have seen women write they at 30+ are now ready to settle with just one man. It doesn't engender confidence. And others really do seem to think they should be sought after because of a reasonable income. When they fail to attract men, they claim that men are intimidated when of course they are just not meeting male mate selection criteria that you have ably listed. I particularly liked PEACE which is often over looked. Thank you for reminding us of that one.

[RavVid]

Yep it is a red flag. If a girl has hooked up a lot then it is saying that 1. men are disposable to her and she isn't likely to view a relationship as a long term thing in her life 2. she doesn't see sex as significant and is likely to cheat.

For a guy that is great if he is just wanting casual sex. If he is wanting a relationship then neither aspect is acceptable.

I'd be more accepting if she has had a number of boyfriends. But then I'd be wondering why so many boyfriend's. Was it them or is it her? Maybe she likes the excitement of a new relationship and moves on very easily.

[dynamicyandere]

Well said. 🥂 It raises a ton of questions. It’s not a good first impression. Although not a absolute deal breaker to me, they would have a LOT of explaining and convincing to do in order for me to consider them for a serious relationship.

[RavVid]

@dynamicyandere Precisely right.

[Juicyred921]

It’s a little concerning. If they’ve been through countless hookups then it’s a red flag. I knew someone who had a different girl almost every night. They talk yo them and say they just wanna hang out, get yo know them, have a friend to talk to. Then after sleeping with them once or twice, they ghost them. Then he met a girl that was genuinely caring. She caught feelings for him. Then started catering to his every need do he’s like her. He lived with her and used her for a couple years. Till she went broke and lost everything. Then he started talking to other girls behind her back to find someone else. Then left her broke, evicted and alone. Till she killed herself. He had no remorse. Said it was her fault. And blamed her for ruining his life too.

[marish01]

When did he lose his virginity? (Younger than 17? Red flag🚩)

Has he had sex with someone much older or younger than him? (Red flag🚩)

Has he had sex when another man was in the room. (Red flag🚩)

Is he into bisexual women or 3somes (red flag🚩)

Has he had casual sex? (Red flag 🚩unless he regrets having it)

[siseñor]

This is similar to how I think about it, glad to know I'm not alone 😸

[marish01]

I was surprised that my answer was liked by a girl. Lol

[siseñor]

Hm why surprised?

[Lliam]

It doesn't matter to me as long as she doesn't have any diseases.
I don't care how many relationships she has been in or even if she explored her sexuality through experimentation before I met her.

I place no value on virginity or "purity" at all. I have more respect for girls/women who have strong libidos and aren't sexually inhibited. They love the male gender and enjoy sensuality.

I would never consider dating a woman who was saving herself for marriage because I would need to see if we were sexually compatible before agreeing to sign a contract to spend the rest of my life with her.

I think inhibition against using the sexual organ one was born with is as weird as inhibition against using your other senses like hearing, smelling, tasting and touching. That's no way to live life.

Honestly, I never asked a girlfriend about her "body count" and none ever asked about mine. As long as she wants me and only me; is infatuated; is loyal and honest; has healthy values; and believes in monogamy with a partner, I'm fine.

I am attracted to a partner for many reasons, but one of them is her sexuality.

[MrOracle]

It seems pretty clear that you aren't looking for a committed, long-term (much less "forever") type of relationship, though. And that's fine, but it also puts you outside the scope of this question. But let's say you were 40, and single, and you WERE looking for a forever relationship, and was going to get married. Would it matter to you then, ESPECIALLY if you knew that a survey showed that women who were virgins when they got married reported being happily married at a rate of 80%, with that number decreasing significantly as her body count increased, with only 5 previous partners lowering her rate of happiness to only 30%? And continuing to drop as body counts increased?

[Lliam]

@MrOracle. Survey. LOL I met me future wife when I was 40. We got married two years later and have been happily married now for almost 26 years. We both had full lives before we met. You basically want women to be "pure" and try to rationalize your desire with patriarchal surveys and other nonsense from the internet. I, on the other hand, base my opinions on real life. I actually respect women rather than thinking of them as property.

[Potteplante]

It would be highly hypocritical of me to care about anyone's body count.

I don't know what mine is - accumulated most of it as a child - young teen and under the influences of alcohol and/or drugs.

I don't care about a partners past - unless they've harmed others, who they are now and who they become in the future, that is what matters to me.

[JamesDiaz11]

Yes- it's a red flag, and has always been a deal breaker for me. There were two girls I dated with body counts over 10 (under 20), and I broke it off with them pretty quickly after I found out. I was too young to know the tell tale signs of a high body count.

A high body count is anything over 9 (double digits). This becomes more stringent the younger they are. If they're 18 with 8 guys that's as bad as a 30 yo with 20+ guys.

Even if I wasn't with my current girlfriend (who was a virgin), I wouldn't date a girl with a body count over 2, regardless of age.

However, when I was single and looking for casual sex I really didn't care, bc I wouldn't take any of them seriously anyway; although, I probably wouldn't ask. One local reporter I took out told me her body count was in the 50's and I completely lost the desire to have casual sex with her.

[LazerBean]

Absolutely. In the dating world, men who sleep around are trash as far as I'm concerned.

[Lionman95]

Yes a high-body count is a redflag to me because I´m not a sexual active person. For me the topic of a high body count is mainly important since I use it to determine whether we have a similar view on sex and sexual activity.
Yes I take her age in consideration and also if it was a hookup or a relationship. I´d consider a bodycount of 5 to 10 as high talking about a woman that´s roughly 25. (Mine is lower than that).

[Tamera952]

No not at all. The concept of ‘body count’ never factors into my mind, & I can’t imagine people taking such a ridiculous thing seriously. I give it no thought, & would laugh at any guy who seriously inquired about a count …. I mean, come on. The past is the past.

[Paul_in_Indy]

Yeah, like a red flag to a bull.

[Avicenna]

Yes, if it indicates a lack of impulse control and/or a lack of stability.

[DermalPunch]

Yes if someone was mudering people in such a large amount it would be a huge turn off.

[HighValue]

Even 1 time of casual sex/ons/friends with benefits makes them immoral and forever not good enough for a relationship.

More than 3 LTRs and they will never fully love you or be able to form a strong emotional attachment.

Either of those things ruins a person's ability to have a good, exclusive, happy, caring, LTR where they can actually love the person and remain emotionally loyal long term.

[Agape93]

Nope. Don't give a slight damn

[exitseven]

Double digits. I think it shows poor judgment and a lack of commitment

[JustinTheGreat]

Nope. As long as someone doesn’t have STDs or history of cheating or home wrecking, then I don’t care

[siseñor]

Kewl

[megabamse]

It's amount plus time. So let's imagine 1 years vs 10 years. And let's imagine this someone in both scenarios slept with 20 people. So the 1 year one slept with 20 people, that's a lot. Now take the other person, also slept with 20 people, but over the course of 10 years, that's 2 people a year. To me that's not that many, depending on your country that is. All culture is different, some are more free and open then others. If you go to almost any European countries then 20 over the time of 10 years is average almost. Some have even more and it still is fine.

[JHNS98]

I don't care, really. As long as she's loyal to me, it's "green, green, green" all the way to the checquer. (Notice I'm a racing fan lol)

[genericname85]

100% yes! if you're 18 having fucked 100 people that's way worse than if you're 80 having fucked 100 people obviously. and i'm not actually sure if "having been in a relationship with them" makes a high body count better or worse. cause there's arguments for both sides.

[AsaKyo]

For me? Yeah

For someone else? Depends on them ig

[TacosRAwesome]

I consider both high counts and very low counts to be red flags. One fucks anything that moves and the other is either desperate or not into fucking.

[Jennz6]

I’m not really sure?

[siseñor]

okhh

[JordanianNumetal]

I think its on a per person basis. If she has slept with a lot of guys, the higher the likelihood you dont meet some other superman skills, and her standards. All doesn't matter really though, why would you even want to know?