Think I made a mistake.... is it worth trying to call this girl?

I have been in a long term relationship and haven't ever really done "dating" as such, certainly not in the online world. I thought I'd give it a try and met a really great girl through a site. Only problem is I made a couple of naive mistakes and I think while it's probably one to add to the list of lessons learned I wondered if I should try calling the girl. So I need some experienced voices to help me out! :-)

Overall the date went well, we'd exchanged SMS messages in the week before and the girl had been really upbeat and had been responding to my messages, in fact she suggested the meetup via text. The date went well, and she said "text me or something" at the end, so without thinking I just carried on the conversation in text messages, however it turns out (according to some advice) that I should have been getting on the phone to her to ask for the second date. I realize that my actions give out certain signals, and it seems that by texting her I have given out the "I don't care that much" sign by accident, but I would have liked to meet up again.

Because this is online and I don't know her at all well, I was going to call but perhaps if we got as far as a third date. I don't like to cramp people when I don't know them very well.

So I sent the message 2 days ago, just asking how she was and if she was free at the weekend and I've heard nothing from her since. I just presume either she didn't like the date or she would have gotten back in touch as she has done so far, right? Is it common for girls to go on a date, appear to enjoy it and then make no contact?

Right now my reaction is to leave it be, it was fun so what the hell, if she doesn't like me that's cool. On the other hand I wonder having found out that I should have called, if it is worth one phone call to see if she is interested in a second date? What do you guys and girls think?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm not to sure about the phone call. If she really did enjoy the date, being a girl I would love it for you to call me. If she didn't, well I would be thinking, didn't he get the hint I don't want to talk to him? You could always send a text message saying, "wow our date was kinda awesome, wanna go out on _______________" Make a specific time/place as if you are certain you want this. It puts a little confidence behind you wanting a second date. Girls dig confidence!

    As for the "text me or something", it gives a half a$$ed impression, but you did text her so I don't see the big deal. It looks like you are semi interested but not as interested as she would like you to be. Probably if you realized your mistake, instead of sending a text to her 2 days ago, a phone call probably would have been better. Then you could have just plain out asked her out again.

    On an alternative note, you could quite possibly ask her out and explain the truth. It would demonstrate a character of confident yet somewhat shy so you also don't appear to cocky. Sure its a little embarrassing but you are wondering why she isn't texting you back, yet she is probably wondering why you didn't call her.

    • Thanks for that. I guess now I can't go back on it as I have already text about "getting together this Saturday" so I tried to be somewhat specific & I've had no response. I also noted that she has logged into the dating site since we went out, I think that probably tells its own story? It's no biggie, she probably met someone else on there and that's cool. The way she talked sounded like she was interested, but perhaps she was just being polite & I should have shown more confidence...

    • There are better fish in the sea! :)

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