Hanging out with my best guy friend who has a girlfriend? I'm not sure what to do...

So him and I have been good friends since freshmen year in high school (we're seniors now). We've always had feelings for each other/been attracted to each other but we don't want to ruin our friendship. He's the type that always has a girlfriend. I'm the oppisite, I'm more the independent girl, I just don't like any of the guys at my school enough to go out with them. So the most recent time he's told me that he likes me is last year before school ended, he said that he still has feelings for me (despite having a girlfriend that he claims to LOVE). And I don't want to get in between them. I'm not that type of girl. I may like him but that doesn't mean I'm going to go after him and be all flirty (he's the big flirt). And he asked me if I wanted to hang out..he texted me this on Saturday at 8pm...I'm not sure WHERE we would hang out (NOT at his house...), but first I'm decided whether or not I'm even going to hang out with him. I feel like I'm betraying a fellow girl if I hang out with him. Because I know I'd be upset if I had a boyfriend and he went to the movies with another girl, even if it's just his friend. So I want to know everyones opinion on this, it sucks that I can't hang out with a best friend but I also don't want to seem like a slut who hangs out with guys who have boyfriends. (I'm the complete opposite!) So what should I do? Should I let her know, where should we hang out if at all? Any advice please? Thanks ahead of time.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Simple, the reason you are feeling you are excluding this girl from her relationships is because you ARE excluding her from your hangouts. Many people would disagree with me, but I think if you wish to be friends with nothing in between, then be just that. Offer for his girlfriend to hangout when you two next meetup, get to know her and don't make her feel threatened. When you hangout, head over to the movies, or hell, go the museum or do something exciting like rock climbing!

    • Thank you. But the only problem is I really don't like his girlfriend. She's really annoying and mother-like. I've talked to her and him together before and she's constantly like trying to show me that she owns him. And then he acts all different and acts like he is married to her. And I'm like thinking,'okayy dude I'm not trying to steal him, calm down...I had my chance for the past 3 years.' So I wouldn't want to hang out with them both but I'll just go somewhere more non date-like.

    • You sound like a really good girl for still not wanting to screw her over despite not liking her, I've gotta commend that. What I would do though, in your situation, I'd suck it up and go with them for ONE date, and ask him privately to give you two some personal time. Tell her everything, the fact that you don't like her, but respect her enough to keep your distance, and that your intentions are pure. Make sure it's everything, the good AND the bad. Good luck.

    • Alright I think I will at least explain that to her. I honestly couldn't last a date with them though. She doesn't even really like me. And I'd feel awkward especially since he knows that I liked him a lot. I'd honestly probably just be hiding jealousy the whole time :/

      And thank you for the compliment on my personality. I appreciate it when people notice that about me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • hang out with him if you can get some friends to go along too

    • Maybee. I just can't think of any of our mutual friends that I would want to tag along. Because him and I would be just focusing on each other...we've liked each other for a while so are relationship is different than friends but not a boyfriend/girlfriend or friends with benefits thing. I don't know how to describe it. Thanks for the answer though. I will see if he doesn't mind someone else coming. He's the one who asked me to hang out.

What Girls Said 1

  • So I know this question is probably super old (can't tell how old) but it is almost exactly the situation I had! While reading it, I actually wondered if I had wrote it a few years ago and forgot. Unfortunately he finally cut ties with me because she turned super controlling and he could not man up enough to either get over me or break up with her. I feel really bad for him but whatever, it's his life.