I found a panty in his bathroom!

When I just started dating my boyfriend, I noticed one day that he had a panty in his bathroom (and this made me look for the soap in his restroom. Lo and behold, there was a long strand of straight black hair too).

I kept quiet. When he entered the bathroom, he noticed the panty and acted all surprised.

"Oh my god, there's an underwear hanging on my door." Is what he said.

"Yeah. I know." Is what I said in reply.

I told him to explain to me where that underwear came from. He said he didn't know, but he should probably ask his dad. When I asked him to do that, he said that his dad was busy. I told him to ask again, because I didn't like what I saw.

When we were leaving his apartment, his dad came out. My boyfriend asked him to tell me about the underwear. Now, it didn't really help that I was stoned and tired, but I thought I heard his dad call him a "liar".

We didn't speak when he was driving me back.

The next morning I received a call from his dad, saying that the underwear was his, and that he had a "friend" over (hence why the underwear was there). He also added that his son has really toned down on going out and getting wild when he became my boyfriend, and as a joke he added that "[my boyfriend] is crying".

My boyfriend on the other hand, sent me a heart-melting sms about how he didn't want to lose me, and that he didn't want to jeopardize what we've "both grown to have".

Thing is, I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now (as I've obviously bought what he said). And I am not sure whether what he and his dad were saying was true.

Another reason why I rode with it was because my boyfriend really really is sweet. He comes over to see me if he can find time, and we communicate well. We've ended up growing very comfortable around each other. We love each other, and we are very happy. He says he has plans for us, and appreciates that I am more laid back than his previous girlfriends.

I really really would appreciate some advice on how I can go about this, or some input on what they think, because if he cheated on me, then I want out. No one wants to be with a bag of sh*t.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is no way to prove he cheated, unless he is the only man in that house.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if you were stoned, who's to say you weren't hallucinating the panties on the door? :p

    If he's denying it, then believe him. If he hasn't led you to believe he's cheating, then take it all with a grain of salt. However, if you start seeing red flag behavior of a cheater (can't find time to spend with you, cancels dates, starts acting cold/distant, doesn't respond to calls/texts like he used to), then start worrying.

    But since he's living in the house with another guy, there's no telling whose those really are. I wouldn't worry about it. At most, just make a mental note and leave it at that.

    • Lol, I just smoked some weed so I'm pretty sure they were there. But yeah, you do have a point with his dad living there.

      I appreciate the feedback! :)

  • why would he use the word 'jeopordize'. that word right that sounds like he's feeling guilty about something. maybe it's just me but I find it also bazarre that he'd have panties lying around like that, that's not really a good indication.

    and trust me 10 months is sometimes not long enough to know a guy. I've know a good friend for 4 years and I'm still learning things about him that make me not want to be with him.

    and sometimes a guy's friends reflects some traits about his personality, that aren't great for relationships. you can't prove he's cheated on you, however, this is definitely not a good sign.

    • Yeah, it's definitely not a good sign - but then again this happened about eight months ago. He might have cheated, and didn't want to lose me because he still cared - or the panties might have actually been there thanks to his dad.

      He also told me to use the bathroom in his room, if that helps too.

      I really appreciate the feed back though! If the information I provided can branch out to other ideas you might have, that will definitely help me get to the bottom of this. :)