Why does he still want to see me?

I'll call EX boyfriend, who still for some reason considers himself to be my boyfriend, has been seeing another woman he met online (like he met me over a year ago) in October. She lives closer to him (15 mins) compared to me living an hour away.....so she is more accessible.

He hates the fact that I discovered their relationship (in October) and I now on occasion I do say sarcastic things when he stops calling me a day or two because I know he is at her place or she's with him at his place. Plus they go to restaurants and the movies and even to Atlantic City I know at least once. But when he is alone and not with her, he calls and emails me as though all is well and I am the only one in his life.

I sent him an email letting him know I want to not see him at all for awhile......we have not been intimate since October either. He wants both of us but he says he cares 'so much for me' and I feel that she offers him what I don't but he won't talk about 'our relationship' and what is not working in order to even give me a chance. He is 60 and I am 53 and this other woman is about 57 or 58. He does not work and is on work disability due to a shoulder injury back in 2005 but maybe going back to work this year, and this other woman is retired and a widow has money, drives a Lexus, nice house and can get anything or any man she wants to be with.

He spent the day before Xmas eve and Xmas eve up until late afternoon with her........then calls me to come spend the rest of Xmas eve (which he had asked about the previous week), with me and I was very angry because I knew he was with her and I was very sarcastic and not in a good mood, but he came. He gave me a very nice Xmas present and we had dinner and he stayed and left the day after Xmas.

So for New year's eve...I just knew that he would be with her and not with me and of course he was with her for the eve I think but for New year's day for sure. Now he wants to still ask me to go with him to shoot photography with him (and the new camera he bought me) soon...I sent an email back to him today saying that Springtime of maybe mid March or early April would be a good time. He has not seen my email yet though. But I don't want to talk to him nor see him anytime soon. I told him that he could contact me to keep in touch by email only. Why does he insist on wanting to still be with me but he really does not want to be intimate with me nor not want to let the other woman go either?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why haven't you cut him off already? I wouldn't even stay friends via email. He's wanting to have his cake and eat it too. You're not holding him responsible for his actions. He'll continue stringing you along for as long as you allow him too. He's delusional if he thinks he's your boyfriend but tells you he's seeing someone else!

    • He did not tell me he was seeing someone else. I found out back in October myself. This woman told me she did not know he had a GF and that she would leave him alone.......but she lied, and/or he persuaded her to deal with him - & that I was out of pict

    • I totally missed that the first time I read. Seriously though. He is just doing whatever he wants and doesn't sound overly concerned with how it makes you feel. This guy isn't worth your time or emotional investment.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well first things first, you posted under a anon MALE sign-in. Just found it amusing is all =)

    As far as the whole thing goes it seems to me he is trying to be a "playa" and play both women. I doubt the other woman has even found out about you and him since it would most likely piss her off.

    He's an ass, even if he is a old one =P

    • I know I have been trying to correct my gender - new to this site today.

      The other woman 'did know' about me back in October but she does not know that I was still in the picture all this time.

What Girls Said 1

  • You're question is simple. Basically, you're like his "plan B." If he looses the other chick he'll still have you or vice versa. You say that you don't want to see him right now, but you are still accepting gifts from him, going on dates, and know details about what him and the "other women" are doing. Why don't you want to see him anymore? Is it because you 1) want to break it off 2) want to make him miss you and possibly "realize" that you really are the one? Because if your answer is #1 then you should not even let him contact you via e-mail. If it's #2 then your just going to punish yourself b/c you really do want to see him. You are being his emotional glue. Tell him that you would like to meet this other woman and get this situation settled once and for all.

    • I have 'met' her somewhat once through email. It won't get resolved through her, its him, because he tells me that I don't know what he is doing like I think I know...but I do know somewhat what his activity is. I plan to date others soon.