Guys, can you restrain yourself not to kiss a girl you like if you're not ready for the relationship?

We were good friends over 3 years and I'm sure he likes me and he knows that I like him too. He told me about almost everything in his life; friends, family, work, his place, etc. He said he's not ready to have a girlfriend or take care of anyone but I'm important to him and he really cares about me. When I needed help, he would help me as much as he could. We have been through many bad moments between us like stop seeing each other for many many times but finally we were still back together. When I'm with him, I tried to be with him in public that I won't give him any chances to do anything more than friends. Sometimes we were alone in the car, I can feel the feelings from his eyes. I can feel that he got jealous when his male friends wanted to dance with me or when he saw me with my male friends. He could control himself when he was sober but when we were drunk, we were too close. He hug me or hold my hands like a girlfriend, our faces were very close but not kiss yet. I thought he might think that if he kiss me, it's the starting point to be in the relationship so he stopped it. If you were him, could you restrain like he did? Or actually he doesn't like me much enough to be a girlfriend. Can I hope and wait or just let him be as a good friend forever?


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What Guys Said 2

  • No we can restrain ourselves especially if we respect that girl, so don't take it your out of chance because he diodnt kiss you, but you really need to either open up to him about the way you feel or you need to let him do this his way, be a friend the way he wants a friend or tell him it hurts to much to be just friends and that you desire more, I don't think you guys will ever not be friends but you need to establish weather there is more to your friendship than the two of you are aware of, otherwise you will end up hqating each other, because chemistry has a way of bringing people together or pulling them apart, you just need to find out how much of each you can handle, good luck,x

    • It means we can have progress more than this? It's possible to be more than friends? I had talked to him about our status once so he said to me that he's not ready and he wanted us to be just "good friends". I'm a woman and it's shameful to kiss him first and it's worse if he said he's not ready for this and stop me doing it. I can't meet him anymore if that happens. What can I do? Should I wait until he's ready for the relationship himself?

    • No is this situation you need him to realize what he is losing, so without sounding like its to try and make him jealous, continue to date other men, because at the moment he is comfortable around and with you, but what he has to realize is how does he feel when other men are interested in you, does it activate more emotions, because this is common in good friendships, they don't realize the depth their emotions go, I hope it works out for you,x

    • I did it for many times and it works, he got jealous but he just did nothing because he has no right to do. I think he knows what he feels but he's too busy to spare time for relationship. He has a permanent job and also more 2 freelance jobs and he's busy with his sport and he has his monthly tournament too. Or perhaps he doesn't like me much enough to spare time for me :-(

  • Most guys don't want to be just friends and usually are hanging out for something down the road. There is usually an attraction there from the start and how it got to friends was because, one didn't like the other that way or talking was easier then asking if you like me. So he is there for a reason. If neither of you asked the other then the talking way was easier.

    If I didn't like the person I could easly stop myself from kissing.. but, I wouldn't hold hands either. So I think there is a like there it just hasn't been said although he can be felt. If you feel the like then make the move. He seems to be fine in the friend zone at times and others he tries to protect you. So go for it--if you feel it. =D And if you need an out do it while having a drink. =p

    Good Luck,

    • Haha thanks. It's easier to talk when we're just friends of course. But in between our conversation, it's like a little sweet and kidding for each other. I feel like I can be myself without acting anything and he's like that too, very relax. It maybe because we have been through many bad moments that we can understand each other better and better. But I don't know how it will be at the end.

      I'll try drinking if I have a chance. I'm not drinker type though =p

    • Which makes it even a better out. OMG I didn't know what I was doing! lol. I never get like that. =p

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