Girls end up shying away from me.

I guess I just need to do this to get a few things off my chest. Anyone is welcome to comment.

So I really don't know why, but why is it that every time I start liking a girl (and seemingly the start to like me too) they end up shying away from me. What am I doing that is wrong? I know I am not ugly. And I'm a really good person, like I respect everyone, I try to achieve perfection through my mind and body. I just don't understand.

I see girls go after these low lives, and me, they won't give me the chance to show that I am a really good guy. It depresses me. I wish someone would tell me what I need to change.

Then even when I get a girlfriend, they end up leaving me for the lowlife who dumped them. What do I need to do to start getting girls?

Now I know girls will start saying "maybe its the way you dress, you body? Your personality?" But all that is really good. I take care in the way I look and dress. I work out 4 times a week, and I'm like the sweetest guy someone will meet. But I do have a rough side to me as well.

What more can I offer?

I wish someone would tell me, why is it that when I meet girls, they will show GREAT interest and then just shy away. And when I talk to them l8er they still say they like me. I don't want to look like I'm annoying by keep contacting them. But I ALWAYS make the first move.

Please, I will be appreciative to the person who gives me the life changing advice that I desire.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. So I really don't know why, but why is it that every time I start likeing a girl (and seemingly the start to like me too) they end up shying away from me.

    ^ Perhaps because she didn't like you so when she realized you liked her she shied away because she doesn't return the feelings.

    2. What am I doing that is wrong? Possibilities:

    You're ugly...most guys don't think they're ugly in fact studies show men more often than women overrate their appearance

    You're average..most people want an attractive or more attractive partner

    You're average and go after attractive women or women more attractive than's typical guy behavior an OKcupid study showed that 2/3 of male messages go to 1/3 of women those women being the most attractive ones.

    You're incompatible with the girls you go after or are attracted to

    You think it's being a good person not being someone they are attracted to will get you a girl

    You're boring...what makes you unique

    You don't know how to talk to girls

    You're not social

    You're not confident

    3. What do I need to do to start getting girls? Stop thinking there's something you need to do. You get girls by the girl being attracted to you.

    If girls aren't attracted to you it means you're unattractive, uninteresting, or you're bland aka common and easily replaceable so they aren't interested.

    Possible steps:

    Get an honest evaluation of your looks

    Go after girls in your league

    Start checking out if the girls you are attracted to keep going after low lifes that's your problem. The problem being you are attracted to girls who aren't attracted to you. The problem being you're attracted to or go after girls who want low lives.

    4. What more can I offer? Hobbies, interests, knowledge, skills, talents, a social life?

    Do you have any of that. All you have is not ugly, well dressed, work out, and you're decent.

    Lots of other guys have that and even more.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes, girls like you because you are a great guy. But they may shy away because they feel they aren't good enough or can't measure up to you and an idea of how they should be when they are with you.

    The girls you're going after might not be ready for a guy like you. Just a little advice, try not making the first move ALWAYS. Let some girls feel comfortable enough to approach you first and you can do this by simply enjoying yourself, continuing to show your interest, but lay back from intiating anything verbal or physical (body language is key here).

    Correct body language draw girls, people in general, closer to you in a subtle way, which is best because its a lot stronger than a straight-forward in your face approach. Always be yourself and make an effort to getting to know the person, not just by asking questions about their life, likes, and dislikes, etc. tho that's a good start you really get to know the girl when you do things together, especially new things, and seeing their reactions and how they handle certain situations. Basically just hang out without any expectations, you know what you want, and it will eventually come.

    Also, if there's anything you need to chane it is definitely your mind-set on girls ALWAYS going for "lowlifes" and your girlfriends leaving you for "lowlifes". That attitude is setting you up right there. Believe things more positive like" Lots of girls go for guys like me AND they're always making the first move". Life will always be how you choose to see it and you can change your life by choosing to change your perception and how you think. Think and feel more positive thoughts and emotions, and your life will change for the better. Change your depression into joy, happiness, and enthusiasm by doing things that make your feel thoses things.

    Lastly, quit trying to be "perfection", nothing again NOTHING in this world is perfect and you will drive yourself crazy trying to be something that doesn't exist. Instead of perfection which is obssession, strive for success which is confidence. A successful person will strive for an A when they get a B because they know they can do better, while a perfectionist will get 99% rom 100% and still not be satisfied. Perfections get screwd up by thinking that the world is perfect, everyone should be perfect, and there's a specific way they should act and do things in order to be perfect too and fit in, when in actuality there is no way that you should be, there is only the way that you want to be.

    Everyone already knows what they want even if they aren't sure how to get. The girls that shy away but like you, but know that you aren't for them, just like you could like someone but know they aren't what you want. Those that claim to not know what they want just aren't being honest with themselves and therefore can't be honest with anyone else. They have feelings of fear, being underserving, not worthwhile, or unfit holding them back, in which case you can wait or not bother, you choose.

  • Well you say you work out so they could at first be really attracted to the aspect that you have a nice body. Then later they find you're really nice and eventually get bored. You might attract the girls who just want the guy that'll keep them on edge. And are you sure you're not a little bit clingy or a yes man?

    • no I'm not clingy. That's why I dnt keep contacting them alot. My pride won't let me do that, N I'm not a yes man becuase if I think something is wrong, I address is ASAP

    • Well then yeah maybe you just attract the girls who see looks not really substance. And the substance might scare them or they get bored. You sound like a decent guy just maybe you get the girls that don't like the decent guy.

  • Well first off always be confident no matter what. You sound pretty confident to me so keep that up even if girls turn you down. Maybe the girls are scared, I have plenty of friends who shy away from guys they like because they are afraid to commit or don't want to get hurt, and they are good guys they run from. Every girl is different though, you won't be able to do the same thing to get each one, but if you are sweet and respectful the right girl will come along soon enough. The guys I like are the sweet respectful ones not the ones that play games and treat girls badly so don't worry you will find her. There is not girl worth changing yourself for, if you have to she's obviously not good enough for you. I'm not sure if this advice was life changing but I hope it helps.

    • Then maybe I should just lay backa nd wait for her to come along. Because everygirl says exactly what you said, and then settle for jerks.

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    • You sound like my type of girl lol but I don't know why its so hard to find someone like that :/

    • I know how you feel its hard for me to find guys that aren't jerks. Don't worry too much you will find her soon. You seem like a good guy even if you haven't had the best luck with girls in the past I'm sure it'll change soon enough.

  • My guess is you're kind of cheesy and naive. That's definitely not as bad as being a "low life" or a child abuser but still, most girls wouldn't go for your type of guy.

    You should expand your horizons, start dating ponies

    • how did you get that I'm cheesy and naive? and...ponies?

What Guys Said 1

  • Where do you find these girls? Maybe, you are looking in the wrong places. Let me guess, these same girls just want to be friends with you after they leave you. Maybe you should date older women. They are more straightforward and less likely to date these low lives. You just can't give up. Changing into something you are not would be terrible. It may work, but good people are always under appreciated.

    • yeah bro, I find them through other friends and school. I just feel depressed becuase I know that I have potential to get girlfriends and keep them. But the fact that I'm not is really f***ed up. And yeah they always want to be friends, but I never do becuase itll be more depressing.