First date etiquette?

I don't mean to sound insecure or anything, I'm just very shy and have literally no experience with dates or intimate (as in one person and myself) settings.

I met a guy online about a week ago, he lives one town over, and we want to meet up soon. My only problem is that I have no idea how to act, what to talk about, or how to snap out of being so shy. I'm 19, in college and I've never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin, etc.. Can anybody offer any advice?

Please don't lecture/troll me about meeting people online, I'm asking for real help.


Most Helpful Guy

  • When you first meet and after shaking hands/introductions or whatever, compliment him on the first thing you notice about him (clothes, hair, cologne?).

    Then you can continue on with the discussion that you've had online. What did you two talk about? (it's a rhetorical question, don't answer that)

    You must know at least a few of his interests now. Figure out a few questions about those things. The questions should be an open-ended question... no yes/no questions.

    Don't get frazzled if there are some awkward moments. It's bound to happen.

    Good luck.

    • And awkward moments are okay with guys?

    • You're asking the wrong question. Awkward moments between two people that have just met and don't really know each other well is natural. Awkward moments are bad when one person makes a big deal out of it in their head and then continues the awkwardness.

      Personally, I love girls that can laugh in awkward situations instead of giving me the deer in the headlights look that makes them look like the world is about to end. That's no fun.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Try to guard your emotions a bit - avoid jumping the shark on certain things. Mentioning how many kids you want to have, wedding plans, etc. If it would creep you out to have a guy do it then don't you turn around and do it too. Feel free to touch, within reason, and try to remember that you don't owe this guy anything if he starts to go to far with you. Have you told him you are shy and all that? Guys can be very understanding of that sort of thing, assuming it isn't rooted in low self esteem. Also, remember to smile. People underestimate the power a smile can have in social situations.

    • He knows I'm shy and he seems like a pretty understanding guy. Thanks for the help.

    • Then you are golden. I think you are in for one great first date, assuming this guy isn't a weapons grade douche bottle. Trust me, being a shy girl in your situation is nothing to be ashamed of. It is your first time. If you were skydiving for the first time, wouldn't you be nervous? I know I would. Try to relax - sounds like you have a decent guy so far so I wish you the best of luck.

  • you're a girl... just exercise normal girl behavior and wait for the world to come to you

    • That's the thing, I don't really know what 'normal girl behavior' is. I've never had the world come to me, I've always gone and got what I wanted. I was practically raised by five uncles and my grandfather, so I'm that girl that's 'one of the guys with boobs' (as my friends say). I hunt, fish, watch sports, love wrestling, MMA, and NASCAR.

    • Show All
    • Wow, hate on girls much?

    • @intheworld: vag worship much?

What Girls Said 1

  • Before your date, dress in some nice jeans or skinny jeans, nice shoes (you could take a walk or something, so nothing too uncomfortable), and your favorite shirt (guys really like if you don't wear baby doll tops). Something flattering. On the day, just try to relax the best you can. Although it's excellent to talk about yourself when getting to know another person, focus on asking him more questions about him than he asks about you. Ask about his family, his hopes, his past, interesting/funny stories, hobbies, favorites, etc. Just keep everything positive (try not to bring up health problems, exes, bad life experiences, etc.) and be easy going! If he wants to take a walk, go with it, if he wants to go watch a movie, go with it. Although you're interested him as more than a friend, try to talk to him as if he were just a friend, with a little "sass" (nicely tease him about things with a little sarcasm). If he's not too nervous, he'll either try to kiss you or hold your hand. If so, let him. And smile so he knows that you like it or just give him a look that says it! If not, don't worry, some guys feel like they're being better gentlemen if they wait longer or are too nervous around you to make a move.

    Remember that everyone is nervous on a first date! So if you watch him closely enough, you'll pick up on some of his nervous signals (voice cracking, awkward mannerisms, talking about themselves too much (especially if they seem to be trying to make themselves look good lol)). I find that if I watch their nervousness and notice how adorable and amusing is it, I worry less about my own insecurities. We all have to go through a very first date sometimes in our lives. It'll get less scary overtime! I've got faith in you :)

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