Can't find a date?

i am 24, college grad and single (for most of my life) and can't find a date never the less get laid. I have ask numerous questions about this topic before but it doesn't seem to help. Everybody says that I must be patient til right girls come by or get off my ass and do something. Well I have tried both and still no luck so no I am at a crossroads with no where to go. After I had graduate from college I was forced to move back with my mother and my sister because I lost my job and I could not find a girlfriend to stay with me. My family is started to get worried about my sex life (especially my older brother) if I don't find a date soon then I really will become depressed and start to do something I will regret (don't ask). I am sick of tired f hearing about girls going through the same problems as us guys and to be honest you girls have it so much easier than us guys. You don't have to worry about putting in a lot of effort into meeting guys because pretty its natural for guys to approach girls. I am so sick of wasting time with girls who don't want to go out me because all they see me as a friend and nothing more. I am tired of watching p*rn, tired of looking girls pictures on Facebook, tired of putting my self out there to only be rejected. How many times can you be rejected before you reach your breaking point. I know this a lot but I have so much anger and frustration built up inside of me that its hard to express my true feelings towards women. Life is short and people can die at time all I want to do is to meet somebody that makes me happy and vice versa before I die is that much to ask?


Most Helpful Guy

  • i hate how people say we guys have more options, that we have it easier because we have full societal-approval to pursue and make the first move and go after what we want, but I see that as a chore, because that just means you will get rejected, and most of the time you will, trying to find a girl that you like and will say Yes to you is like trying to win the lottery, the odds will always be against you, but at least we won't lose money but too many rejections gets frustrating, and I still think girls have it easier, yes 95 percent of those guys that make advances on girls are losers in their eyes but I know it must boost there self-esteem, it's a great ego boost

    • well said my friend, women are so picky and dumb when it comes to find men because they always choose the losers and then get hurt in the end its entirely their fault and they got no one else to blame but thier ownselves

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    • yeah, people say "Girls do not get to choose who to have. They can only say yes or no to the guys who ask." us guys can't either, just because we guys have to initiate does not mean the girl is going to welcome our advances

    • agreed

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • First off you should not think it is easy for girls to date. For example I am very attractive and nice but guys don't randomly come up and talk to me. A lot of other girls have issues with masculine energy because they get tired of waiting around for a guy to talk to them or ask them out so they go for it them selves, but no guy wants to date a girl acting like a dude. As far as your problem goes relax a little. My family is the kind who puts a lot of pressure on dating too, but if you go on a date thinking it won't work out because they never do, well, then it wont. There are plenty of girls and time that you have to find one, but, if you want something fast online dating is a good way to go.

    • yea I tried online dating it was a complete waste of time but you made a good point though!

  • If you don't put yourself out there, then you won't meet anybody. That's it.

    You need to put yourself out there and make it clear that you're interested in dating, which is advice that is pretty standard for both guys and girls. How you do that depends on where you are and what kind of person you are or are looking for. I doubt you've tried everything - have you given online dating a shot? Speed dating? Singles' nights at bars or restaurants? Asking friends to hook you up with dates? Personals ads in newspapers? Making small talk at community events?

    Try some new things.

    Also, please do your best to let go of the anger and frustration you have from not getting a girlfriend. If you're angry at women in general, it'll show, and that will push people away from you.

    • i have tried all of that (except for newspaper ads because I'm not that desparate) and I found them to be completely waste of time. Let me ask you something I was to approach you and ask you out what you would be your reactions? I want to role play with you if you don't mind maybe you can help me out by correcting my approach. its sounds like you are very informative person.

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    • Have I been rejected? Of course I have. It's pretty hard to actually go after people you like without getting shot down or disappointed at least some of the time. It happens - sometimes guys didn't feel the same way I did, or didn't share my values, or weren't willing to be in a relationship.

      Do I feel depressed sometimes? Yes. In fact, I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was fourteen years old. Those were the worst years of my life, but I got support through family and therapy.

    • good for you

What Guys Said 2

  • I know you are angry and frustrated and hopefully you are still open to advice and suggestions.

    I have a friend who is also single and tired of being rejected but they thing is, he doesn't try to better himself.

    He's working full time, has a degree and 1bedroom studio. Sounds like he's okay right? Well he's also 6'2 and weighs 140 lbs and doesn't get out.

    He gets rejected once every 5 months and then crawls in a ball and hides from social participation.

    Not that I am saying this is you but there must be things you can continue to do to get yourself a better chance to finding someone or a better social life. Don't say you've tried everything because it's not true.

    When I was 19-21, I was on a mission to build myself a better social life. I meet new people and got rejected 5-6 times a night for months. In those rejections I learned a lot about how to meet new people but I put in the work.

    It'll suck and it's good you are putting in effort but to me it sounds like you need more networking.

    "I am so sick of wasting time with girls who don't want to go out me because all they see me as a friend and nothing more."

    - Those girls are the jewels to you getting a g/f. That is also the biggest factor I see single guys have is the lack of female friends. You learn from them about what about you makes girls not like you and also what they respond to.

    • thanks man sounds like something can work with

  • Dude. There are people older than you who are still waiting and hoping. You will get your girl when the time is right

    • just don't give up

    • Have a look at the girl in the next question above you. 30 - 35 and still looking

    • when the time is it really? do you know how many times I heard that line