Why doesn't he call?

I have been seeing this guy for 2 months now. We only go out 1 night a week usually over weekend. Then he goes 4 or 5 days before I hear from him. I may even text him a question and don't hear from him for days. He is very busy and works 7 days a week but is a trainer and works different hours each day. He gets up early so is in bed for the night 9 or 10 o'clock most days. When we are together he acts like he is into me but won't commit to anything. Sometimes I feel like he is seeing me just for entertainment and then other days I feel he does like me. He did go to my familys house for christmas day and I thought that was a big deal, but he still acts like it is all casual. So is he into me and why doesn't he call? We are both in are later 40s even though he acts like in his 30s


Most Helpful Girl

  • This one is easy. He doesn't call because you haven't created any value for yourself. He sees you as a booty call, and even though he went to your family's house for the holidays that's called "maintenance". He is doing what he needs to do to hang on to you and nothing more. This relationship is not going to change. You do see that don't you?

    You haven't created any value for yourself but demanding higher standards. Go out, be with friends, and meet some new people. This relationship- if you can call it that is going nowhere!

    By the way of COURSE he likes you. He can pop in and out of your life at random and you hang around waiting for his crumbs. Please do better by yourself. You deserve a lot more.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Have you asked him specifically what he's after, and have you told him your expectations?

    What does "commit to anything" mean?

    • He did tell me in a email a month ago for me not to get too far ahead of myself and and he doesn't want to place any expectations on me or himself. Then he left it up to me what I wanted to do. So after the email I decided to go along and see what happens. I don't bring it up because I am waiting to see if anything changes. He knows I don't like it when I don't hear from him for days and I try not to contact him which I don't for 4 days just to see what he has been up to and because I miss him

    • He told you where he stood, so you've no right to complain about his behavior.

      Your options: Accept him on his terms & hope things will change to your liking. Or tell him what you want & see if he's willing to compromise.

      If you don't like his terms, and he doesn't want to compromise, you face another choice: can you accept him as he is, or not? If yes, stay, If not, move on.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well some people in general are just like that, if he has been like that from the beginning, don't expect a lot of change, my advice, coming from someone who has been there, is don't contact him, let him contact you, that way he will make a little more effort hopefully. Don't terrorise him by text or phone or email, that will just push him away. Keep the times you do with him, to fun, no pressure or anything, and you will win his heart, it just may take time.