Why can't I find a guy? Am I ugly?

I'm 24, 1 child, and it seems everyone around me are in happy relationships and getting married and crap but I can't manage to have a relationship... am I ugly or something?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You are not ugly at all, but your child has a big part in what is holding you back. I'm guilty of this myself. If I meet a woman I'm attracted to, we have a good vibe going on, and then I find out that she has a kid and my interest level drops. It has nothing to do with me not being attracted, but just that it's a sacrifice to date a woman with a child because she just can't get up and go like I can. Also, I don't want to start something and get emotionally attached to a kid, and have the kid become attatched to me, and then three or four years down the line we break up. I would rather not put the kid through that especially since I was that kid.

    Also, don't worry about finding a guy right now and consider yourself lucky that no guy wants you. The man you want should not only accept you but your child as well. You two are a package deal and you shouldn't accept any less than that. Until then just focus on you and your child until the day comes that a man comes along who will love the both of you.

    P.S. It also helps if you stick to men who already have kids themsleves and also older.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • There are lots of factors that can lead to a girl not having a partner. Some examples include:


    Uninviting (Introverted body language)

    Not trying hard enough

    Looking for the wrong guy

    Poor luck

    Psychological issues

    Overweight (arguably the same as the first example)

    The fact that you have a child


    Many people would argue that they disagree that some of these are reasons that someone would be single but the fact is that if someone finds any of these traits undesirable, then it's affecting your romantic life. Look at these examples and address each accordingly. Some of them, such as having a child, are not fixable per se, it just means that you'll be attracting a certain type of guy. Keep in mind that many 24-year old men don't want to date a girl with a baby. Let alone someone else's baby. Try looking for more mature men (27+) and you should have better results.

  • The chances are that you have a kid and come across as unapproachable or just used goods, (not disrespecting you in any way meant) so just be patient, because your on the menu of real men now, only ones who know there up to it will approach you maybe, try looking for men a little older than you, because men at your age often get scared of single mothers and often think their a little to much high maintanance, good luck,x

  • You are not ugly. If you were, you would not have a child. It's hard for young single mothers to find a mate because guys do not want to take care of another man's offspring.

    • You don't speak for all guys. I would have jumped at the chance. But sadly it seems to have a lot of truth in it.

    • I should have been more specific. Most guys around her age do not want to take care of another man's child. Older guys around 30-35 and above will generally accept another man's offspring because they, too, have children.

  • You're asking why you can't find a guy, but you got a kid, lol. Did you adopt the kid?

    On a more serious note, I see you are a black female, and statistically your group is much more likely to not get married, due to preferring only to date within your race, a smaller amount of eligible men of your race, and the fact that men of your race are likely to date outside their race. So, it might not be what you're doing.

  • Lower your standards maybe, I don't know you very well however that's the reason why most girls are single their standards are higher then they can achieve.

    You're not ugly.

  • your not ugly at all, and better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all


What Girls Said 2

  • You don't look ugly to me =)

    Sometimes, who you hang out with and where can have a lot

    to do with it. If all your friends are married and stuff..and not single..

    well, of course there is probably no atmosphere for single men...

    I would find girlfriends who are single, and go out with them.

    Look friendly, not sad...or like your better than anyone...

    Some guys get intimidated with a girls looks and won't talk to them

    because they think that she wouldn't date him...

  • As a single mom I know what I am saying when I say the child has something to do with it, as you get older guys don't care so much because the chances of them having children too gets greater. Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet, maybe you are coming off deperate. I don't mean any offence by this so I hope you don't get mad but you sound a little desperate here and maybe that is the problem.

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