How to treat someone who repeatedly fails to call as promised?

I have this girl who I have known for 6yrs. We have been just friends. Both were in different relationship and rarely met. But we both have great time when we meet. She says I am one of the few closest friends. We have been single for 2yrs now. Since last year we have come lot closer and discussed about relationships, marriage an sex. She even invited me for lunch and cooked for me recently. But she never calls me as promised. We have already fought over this lot of time. I have stopped messaging her as she stopped replying. But she keeps telling me to message her cause she likes them. I Haven't contacted her for a month now as she didn't call as promised. Few days back she messaged me on Facebook saying "i can imagine how angry you are at me. But I'll call you on 31st. I know you won't reply to this..but still.." as usual she didn't. But I am sure she will in a week.

I am tired of this. How do I treat her next time she calls? Other than her this particular issue I don't have any other reason to lose a close friend.

She called from an unknown number pretending to be a salesgirl.

- Hello, am I talking to Mr

- Yes this is speaking

- Hi this is calling from

- Yes how may I help you

- WTF!? You don't know my name!?

- Oh it's you..are you the only girl who's name is ?

- You don't even recognize my voice!?

- You never spoke to me in this tone before

- Busy?

- Kinda

- OK I'll call you at night

- OK


She didn't call


Most Helpful Girl

  • I am not really sure of how to think of this so I'll state different possibilities.

    1) She's manipulative and selfish. She can't give love but she wants to receive love. She doesn't really care about you so she doesn't care if you're upset or not, but when you don't contact her for a long time, she feels lack of attention and so she comes back asking for it.

    2) She's very emotionally reserved. She doesn't mean to hurt you, but she doesn't want to get attached or close to you because she has been burned before. She pushes you away whenever you come closer.

    I honestly think if she isn't willing to consider your feelings (you being annoyed with her not replying) then you shouldn't be serious about her in a romantic way. Keep her as only a friend to save your sanity.

    • @ update: she's totally messed up. She'll definitely drive you nuts.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I can't find a pattern =/ I don't know if something's going on in her life, or if she keeps forgetting to call, or chooses not to- but...


    reply to her messages.

    Try not to fight, things get old. And if someone starts the chain of ignoring then it's going to be hard to stop...and her behavior says that out of the two of you, you're going to have to be the one to reach out first..

    At least one of you has to meet halfway or nothing's ever going to be solved.

    be there in case she decides to consistently put in her 50%, but if she doesn't, retract completely. COMPLETELY.

    If she's a true friend, it's not going to be because you're conveniently within reach, it's going to be because she values your friendship. And if you're not good enough for her to try to reach out to...then...she was manipulating you disrespectfully, and it's a problem she's going to have to fix.

    • @ update I know she's a girl... but if you flip the gender around in most cases, it should just make the person sound like a girlie guy or a masculine girl...not equally creepy...

  • To stop replying or not initiate calls generally means that she is probably option playing. Meaning she is busy with other guys.

    But if you want to be sure why don't you ask her point blank. You earned it by now.


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