She hasn't messaged me first in days. Am I overreacting at what's probably nothing?

I've been seeing this girl for 2 months now, and since the first week we've been texting/messaging/seeing each other in person every day. For the first 3 weeks of October we spent about 90% of our free time together seeing movies, going to bars, restaurants, dancing, etc. She introduced me to her closest friend from back home and called on me for help when there was a minor crisis.

Except in the last week things have seemingly tapered off. She hasn't messaged me first with the random stuff she used to, and hasn't been nearly as flirty. I haven't seen her for more than 10 minutes since Sunday, and she hasn't suggested anything to do this weekend or taken me up on anything I've invited her out to do. For that matter until I didn't text her at all on Halloween she hadn't texted me first in about a week.

When she finally did message me first it was at 12:30 am and she'd just gotten back from a party. She invited me over saying she had pizza already coming, which was awesome...

But once again she hasn't messaged me first in days (since I didn't talk to her on Halloween). And has been seemingly short tempered since then (though not always so). Am I overreacting at nothing?

Problem is I've initiated EVERYTHING for the last week. Before then it'd been pretty much 50/50, whoever saw something interesting suggested it


Most Helpful Guy

  • What did you do for those first 2 months with her? If you saw her so often and for so long and nothing happened than she probably decided you're not the right guy for her. If she gives you every sign she can that she likes you (which spending so much time with you is to me) and you don't pull the trigger and act on it, that window of opportunity will start to close. Might have already closed for you.

    My advice is pulls back, keep it relaxed and light with her and stop making her a priority and maybe there's hope for you two.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Women change in a couple of months. So do men. Maybe she's just showing you the real her. Or maybe she has something going on she doesn't want to talk about. Don't ask her about it. She'll be like wtf. A lot girls like for the guy to text first anyways. I know I do. Problem is with my boyfriend if I don't text him first he don't text me at all.


What Guys Said 2

  • You should be concerned about her behavior. You're smothering the poor girl, even if she's not complaining about it vocally. You're spending 90% of your free time with her and texting/messaging/seeing her every day. You need to slow down and start pacing yourself, especially in the early stages of dating. For now, I would stop texting her entirely; then I would only call her once a week to ask her out. If she turns you down for a date, she's not interested, so it's time to move on. But if she's still interested, your absence will make her start missing you and wanting to see you a little more over time.

  • Why aren't you initiating anything? Do you have any balls?