The attraction is there, the two people Haven't been on a date yet, the girl wants more than sex, the man's intentions are unknown, what can girl do to get man interested in brain not just body. don't have sex with them right away? any thoughts are appreciated
Most Helpful Guy
You need to build an emotional connection.
Sex and love and relationships are complicated, and I'm not an expert based on personal experience, but from what I read/gather/understand/observe and trial when possible, I'd suggest the following:
- you can't MAKE anyone fall in love with you. You can allow them to be emotionally close, show your true self and feelings, and create the conditions where they could feel loving. But beyond that, they just have to feel it.
- in the long run, _feeling_ loved is important in sustaining feelings OF love.
- guys who only want sex will more often move on fast if they don't get it. 'fast' is a relative term and depends heavily on your age and relative experience. This is not foolproof though, especially if you are dating 'casually'. A player who is sleeping with 4 girls might be happy to wait a year for you, a guy looking to have a relationship with one girl would move on _faster_ because he's not getting some elsewhere.
- there are some guys who think women who have sex too fast are 'sluts' and lose interest in them for relationships.
- most guys feel hurt and rejected of sex and sexuality happen too slowly.
- some guys might be so screwed up in the head that its impossible not to hit one of the above two points.
- many guys, having sex with them soon doesn't really change anything either way. If they were falling in love with you, they still will, if they weren't, they still won't.
You can always gamble on actually asking what sort of relationship he's looking for, and be clear on what YOU are looking for. 'More then sex' might be taken as code for 'not very interested in sex'. I might encourage you to explain that you would like a full, passionate, loving, sexual and intimate relationship with the right guy (if that's what you want). If he wants that, then you negotiate pace. If he's not interested in that, he knows to look elsewhere.
Age is going to matter a lot. If you're really 40ish, most single people I know that age are having full on sex by date 3, assuming they're heading to a relationship.0