Why am I so unlucky in love?

You may think I have a long time ahead of me to worry about relationships. But I wish I had been in at least one so I know what it feels like. So I could be intimate with someone I care about. I feel like its never gonna happen. Right now I feel like there's a gap in my life. An it feels like somethings missing. I'm not complete when I'm single. Even though you may think that being single is fun. I HATE it. I want someone to care about. My friends talk about sex and boys. I have no stories to tell. I feel like there's something wrong. Although its probably because I'm so SHY. I never used to be it happened now I've grown up. Maybe I'm meant to be alone. I don't get it. Guys I have liked are players and they don't want me unless I put out. An this one guy I liked was trying to see me whilst having regular sex with this girl. She follows him everywhere.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I completely agree with you.

    When I was taken, I felt tied down. When I broke up and thought "I'M FREE AGAIN!" a few days later, I'm beginning to miss someone's phone call or someone to care about me. (Obviously my parents care about me too, but what I meant is with someone else not related.)

    Reading from your description, it seems like you are TRYING HARD to get a guy with you. Well most guys don't like to see a girl trying so hard to get noticed. In fact, for me, I normally talk to girls who are innocently sitting and studying their homework materials in the middle of campus... And I don't judge on how you look, but on first impression. First impression is always what makes things work out. If you give a bad vibe to someone who you first meet, most likely they will think you differently the next time you guys talk.

    Maybe you should just take a step back and relax. Why do you want to be loved so much? Will being loved complete you? To be honest, since I've been dating in college, I'm really tired of breaking up and getting back with another girl, because I have to re-learn what this girl likes to do as a hobby, birthdays, etc. And could you imagine all the responsibilities you have to do to show that you care for him?

    All I could tell you is that relationships are GOOD, but most of the positive things are a bit more exaggerated. Why settle for a romantic relationship when you're not even married yet... Isn't marriage for romance, and relationships just getting to know and try each other out? In traditional times, sex can only be performed if you were married, a relationship is when you can hold hands and (maybe) kiss, as it was THAT phase where you're just learning deeply about your partner... And then there's friends.

    Whats better is just go to school, find the right guy who's smart and talented and you know will know how to support himself (most importantly) and stop worrying about love and sex so much. I also tell myself that once I'm done with college, I'll be living in a mansion with the most ideal girl as my wife... Believe it or not, good things happen, but its not because of constantly searching through the pool, but because people see you're awesome and fun be around with.

    Cherish your friends more first. Because those are the people you truly want to be around with.

    • I also forgot to mention: Everytime you tell someone that you love them, the meaning of "I love you" diminishes each time you say it. Lets say you dated your first boyfriend and tell him that you love him. Then he will have half your heart to him. But then, you guys break up, and you say "I love you" to another guy... Another half of your heart to him, and as the guys keep going in and out of your life, the meaning of "I love you" really has nothing because you've said it so many times...

    • Hey I totally understand you. I have never been in love and I have had no relationships. That's why I feel like I need one. I just want someone to care and love me. As I've never had that. So I crace it if I'm honest. I'm not trying that hard as I like a guy an I don't know how to go about telling him. This is because I'm so unexeperienced.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeap welcome to the 21st century world of dating. Almost no one is looking for something that wil last, including women, and casual sex is the norm. I would just say either keep fighting the current or go with the flow. I choose the later and I think I have had enough of it and will try for something more serious, unfortunately it is always hard to find someone you really click with. I would say, if ever you do feel like you are genuinely clicking with someone, don't waste time waiting for him to make the move. Just ask for his number and be confident and just ask to hangout. I have seen women meet their boyfriends this way so I say just go for it.

    • Hey. I feel an amazing connection to a guy who is also one of my neighbours. I feel like he understands me. An he's made it clear he fancies me. He's just shy like me.

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    • YEEESS! Be cheeky. I meet a girl at the airport and when she boarded the plane with me (she was in business class and I was in econ) she did some sign language signaling write down your phone number (don't actually say it he should know what it means). If he likes you he will like you even more after that move, shows how confident and cheeky you are.

    • Wow really. I'm not confident though

What Girls Said 2

  • It's weird I'm really shy too and every guy I've ever liked has either been super flirty or just a player as you said..maybe it's just because we like to see the good in everyone huhz. Well I can't really tell you why you're unlucky in love, and yah I understand that feeling with I've got the time...I just wish I waesn't using it..but maybe you can look at the time to see what kind of boyfriends you've had in the past, and what kind of boys you're looking at now. Maybe if you find they've all been the type that you were talking about who only seem to want one thing or are using you while they use someone else..you simply need to redirect your taste of guys. I'm really sorry you're feeling so down though I hope everything starts looking up for you soon =)


    • Hey wow that's the same as me. Well there's a guy I like at the moment an he's not flirt and he doesn't seem to be giving loads of girls attention. Just me. As I'm so used to guys implying that they want sex I keep dismissing him thinking he is the same. He's a shy guy an I feel so much chemistry and I feel attracted to him. When he spoke to me I can feel how nervous he is. An I think he knows I'm nervous too as he makes sure he's friends are out the way an he approaches me with his eyes on me.

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    • Ahz those guys I understand yeah there pretty hard to talk to even when you really want to more then anything else..the best thing to do is just take it slow..but definently talk to him none the less

    • Yeah they are hard to talk to. An I really want to speak to him. I don't want him to think I'm not interested. I'm just shy. An I have low self esteem.

  • I used to think being single was the best thing ever. Never put out for a player, unless they've 'changed' (never seen it, sorry) My friends have started getting boyfriends and yeah, it makes you feel sh*t because they have new friends, their boyfriends are their close friends now, and you are kind of alone. I don't really have any advice, just saying I'm in the same boat and I'm probably older than you 22.