Should I offer to split the bill?

Okay, back story: So we've been making out for the last few weeks. Last week I brought up the question on whether he wanted to be friends or try to date. He was a little flustered and was just like "fine, we'll go on a date next week." I just kind of dropped the whole thing because I thought it was a blow off. Then Monday, he text me wanting to hang out, I was busy. He reminded me that we have a date this week and that I needed to let him know what evening I was available. On Tuesday, I told him Friday was good and he agreed. So, today he text me to see if we were still on for tomorrow. I said yes and he said he wanted to take me to his favorite sushi restaurant and then afterward he said we could go meet up with some of our friends at a wine bar.

The question is: should I offer to split the bill when it comes tomorrow? It is our first date. I am pretty sure he'll pick up the entire thing regardless but would it give me bonus points? I really like him.

I did offer to split the bill. He got this crazy look on his face and was like "uh... no." Later, he picked up my tab at the bar where we met friends. I think it's definitely a good sign. Thanks for all the responses. :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Splitting the bill is good.

    I'd bring the topic up with a smile "Shall we split the bill? Apparently it's called Going Dutch, god knows why ha ha."

    I don't like to pay full BECAUSE to me, it implies the following (not in any particular order)

    (1) I'm trying to be a domineering moronic male who pays for everything because I am manly and dominant (no offence guys, I've met guys who happen to that as a rule and I personally just didn't like them as people and so maybe it's a bit of transferrence on my part psychologically).

    (2) I'm needy and want to pay to score points with her

    (3) Gender inequality about paying, which I don't like because it seems hypocritical

    (4) It does not feel like a potential partnership, which is sexy to me, so that undermines it.

    (5) It's if I pay I expect something from her and I don't want that sort of relationship of "exchange."

    • Wow best answer; so here's A little extra on point (1). 1 guy friend once said in a fierce kind of grunt way "I WILL NEVER let her PAY because that's my RULE! It's like I am NOT WORKING FOR HER to get HER" He went on to go on about "Men should NEVER carry things for women like their bags!"

      And another guy friend, after talking about culture, said something like "I CANNOT LET HER PAY." And he went on to have a fist fight with a librarian after that...

      Hence the transferrence.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Given the way the date came up, I would say you should offer to split. It will be much appreciated.

  • well offering to split the bill definitely would give you some bonus points. He'll probably still pay for you in the end but you'll definitely put yourself over as someone who is independent and considerate. Have fun on your date, I'm sure everything will work out perfectly.


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