What should I do when she doesn't pick up?

I recently joined eHarmony and I've been having some success there. There members are a different kind of woman than at a bar or club.

Over the last week, I've gotten two phone numbers and waited a couple days before calling. I've called both at good times (Tues or Weds around 8) and followed up with a brief text identifying who the call was from.

The first girl said she was busy and we set a time to talk the the next night. I called then and she didn't pick up. No contact since then.

I've called the second girl twice over the course of two nights. She didn't answer either time and there's been no further contact.

I'm really confused. If a girl gives out her number online, why wouldn't she pick up when I call or text back or call back, or something? Does she want me to keep calling to show interest? I'm looking for what I'm doing wrong here and I just don't see it.

I'm the opposite of clingy, so calling more than twice makes me feel like I'm crossing some line. How many times should I call before just giving up?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I totally understand the no contact thing then being like wtf? If they were the ones that gave their numbers initially. So, you can maybe after a week or so contact them via eHarmony and just be like "what's up?" or somethin. Just play it cool.


What Guys Said 1

  • Just because a woman gives out her number doesn't necessarily mean she's interested. It also depends on how you ask for it. And then what you say when you call.

    When you ask for the number, you don't ask for the number. In other words, you build up the message exchange until "getting the number" becomes an ARBITRARY step to building a relationship off screen. For instance, you get her all riled up and excited about how adventurous your life is, then when you say, "we should hang out" its only inevitable she gives you her number. This is better than being like "hey I'm a desperate f.uck, give me your number."

    Also, try not cold calling, instead, give her your number as well so she can anticipate you when your number pops up on her screen. Random numbers can scare people, then "scare" becomes associated with your existence.

    Be like this

    "Hey, this is my number 555-555-5555, I'll call you on Tuesday at 8pm"

    Then, don't even call on Tuesday. She'll be all intrigued, like, what the f.uck? I'm hawt, and he didn't call? To which she will be tempted to call you but won't. This is when, instead of pressing dial, she will be pressing save. Then when she's pissed off you didn't call, your name will pop up with a clever text message provoking her to respond

    then text message exchanges will ensue, then a phone call, which you will end early, and then you will call again, but the next time, you set up a quick coffee date. Whether you get laid from this point on depends on you and is beyond this scope of this question. Good luck mate.