Should I accept a woman's late rain check?

I saw a question on GAG that might be similar to mine, but I thought I would ask anyway. I asked a woman out for lunch or coffee about three months ago and she told me that she needed to take a rain check. I never followed up when she said rain check because I felt I put it out there and the ball is in her court and she should get back to me. I'm not clingy and I don't play or do the chasing games. She works at a restaurant and when I went in she said Hi and that she would like to have lunch and she hasn't forgotten about it. I asked two of my friends about it and one said that I should because she might a have been really busy and to give her the benefit of the doubt. My other friend said to decline it because she was probably "cashing in other rain checks" with other guys. She also said that yes things do come up and it is understandable but it shouldn't take 3 months to get back to someone to make plans and that if she really was interested she would of gotten back sooner at least within two weeks and that I'm only an option and not a priority. What do you think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • People are not automatically made priorities. That status is usually earned.

    The "cash in" theory sounds a little flakey and has serious connotations, but can easily be verified by asking the girl (in a joking manner and with a big goofy smile) how many rain checks she has pending. She'll either accept the joke and answer you or slap you for implying that she's a slut...

    If she was busy for a few weeks, she may have felt it was awkward to approach you -- that too much time had passed.

    After three months it's no longer a rain check, it's a new invitation. She was hinting that she'd link to go out, so the ball's back in your court.

    • Oh really, I didn't think of it that way. Yes she said she would like to go out and she hasn't forgotten when I asked her the first time. I told her yes, we can go out and to let me know when would be a good time, and she OK, but haven't heard anything as of now. I didn't decline the invitation.

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    • Yes I did, but I didn't say when I was free, hopefully I'll see her this weekend and tell her. I know what you when you say people don't know how to say"no" and it does happen with both guys and girls. I just think that people should just be honest instead of playing games.

    • Me too -- makes things much less confusing to be direct with them.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should give her the benefit of a doubt. I hate to do rainchecks with guys but I have done it in the past because I was tired or busy with work. Definitely ask her out again.

  • Well...are you still attracted to her? Do you still want to go out with her? Then don't give it another thought...go out with her. Life is too short to waste it second guessing everything. If she shoots your request down again, move on. Good luck!

    • She's an attractive woman but honestly I don't know because when I didn't hear from her after 3 months I figured she was interested anymore. When she asked that she still wanted to meet for lunch I told her to let me know when she would like to go and from there.The ball is in her court again, since then I haven't heard anything.

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