Am I falling for this guy just because I feel ignored by my boyfriend?

I was raped, my boyfriend told me he cares, but still won't talk to me.

There was this guy that I had a 'thing' with last March and I'm still friends with him so I see him everywhere. I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for me and last time we saw each other he told me to call him...which hasn't happened since things ended between us.

I keep thinking about him and he's one of the few people that I let hug me. I'm starting to think I might be crushing on him...but do you think it's just because of my boyfriend neglecting me?

I really don't want to lead this guy on...again.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah it is an extremely hard situation. How long have you been with your boyfriend? A lot of people, and especially guys (typically) have a hard time dealing with emotion and expressing it. You may feel neglected, and in fact, are being neglected. However, it may be that he does not know how to react to what happened to you because he is feeling overwhelmed. I have personal experience in this (why I am posting anonymously). My girlfriend told me she was raped when we bumped into the guy who did it. It had happened to her 6 years before she told me. We had only been together a month or so, and I didn't know how to react. normally, I am very comforting, caring and empathetic. I do anything and everything for her. though, when she told me that, I had no idea what I should do. She was offended by it, and I told her I was sorry. and really was.. I even brought it up a month later and told her, "that was one time I really should have provided you some comfort, and will always regret not responding appropriately". Anyways, bring it up, and see what he says.

    • We've been together around 5 months. I figured that he's probably just processing things because that's a lot to deal with and he doesn't understand why I'm handling it the way I am...he's also the stoic type. But I really don't have anyone at all to support me so I get pretty angry sometimes. Thank you, it's nice to hear someone reciprocate what I was thinking about him not knowing what to do.

    • and now he's screening my calls

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • First off I'm sorry that happened.

    Well that could be it and maybe its something more. IF you two already had some sort of mixed up feelings thing going on from the get go then it doesn't only mean its because of your boyfriend neglecting you, it might fuel your crush but its too early to say. I would try to talk to your boyfriend ask why doesn't he want to talk, if he doesn't want to answer or refuses to do anything with you, then I suggest you suggest a break or separate.


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think he is intentionally neglecting you, I don't think he knows what to do for you, would you? He's also probably really upset that he wasn't there to protect you when this happened, he's hurting too. I think you should be a little more understanding and look at things from your bfs point of view instead of moving on because of a lack of communication.

    If you really feel that you can't possibly talk about things and make up, you should probably break up with him and give him the decency of not cheating and a clean breakup.