How justified is this "fear" men have of dealing with their women?

Many men are "afraid" (not really, but closest word I could think up at the time) of interacting with women they are close with (girlfriends, wives, etc) in some ways due to the belief that women are supposedly prone to deliberately baiting men into starting arguments by techniques such as asking loaded questions. It makes many men reluctant to deal with women some of the time due to either fear or unwillingness to put up with the stress caused by the situation. Most men, from what I can tell, tend to come off as being somewhat passive when dealing with their girlfriends in these scenarios because they would rather walk away than take the obvious argument bait.

Men - In your experience, how often do the women in your lives do this?

Ladies - Do you do this? If so, how frequently? And why?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Seen it, lived it.

    I don't think its so much that we think women are going to use loaded questions or whatever. Its that some women just fly off the handle all the time.

    Some men do as well.

    In either case, their partners end up tip toeing around them.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Guys Said 3

  • I think it's probably a learned behavior from both sexes. Women might see men as either too distant or not in the right like they see themselves as. For men, they might see it as an emotional minefield that you have no chance of "winning" against.

    So the longer either one puts up with the others behavior, the more it's encouraged because it becomes the norm in a sense. If you stand up and call out the petty little games and emotional tests, then the other person should get the idea that you don't have the time, energy, or patience to put up with useless stuff. If you cut right through it, then you either find incompatibilities because one isn't willing to learn from their behavior, or you get progress.

    Sadly though, that path is seen as too much work and it's "easier" to just let your girlfriend nag you or wear the pants, or to let your boyfriend just follow by what you tell him.

  • women never to that to me. by the way, don't argue, nobody will win. but if you like her more then she likes you, you might lose her by causing bad feelings.

  • Been there. One ex was a bitch starting arguments in various ways. Sometimes it was deliberate because she was frustrated about something in her own life, or because she wanted something or didn't get something she wanted, or for getting back at me for whatever reason. Many times I wondered if she was doing it on purpose but made excuses for her behavior or told myself I was imagining things.

    I ended up trying to always trying to think in advance and diffuse problems before she turned it into an argument. It was awful and I was miserable. I also realized she was starting sh*t on purpose when she needed us to have a clash so she can play the victim and make me feel guilty while she did shad things.

    I was in love and I took a lot of crap because love blinded me. I eventually left and once removed emotionally from her I could see what she really was, a selfish manipulative bitch. The difference about how I felt with her compared to other girls I've been with is striking. With others arguments are rare and don't occur randomly but because of a good reason. They end up being constructive because problems are then being solved. With the other arguments were numerous and 'random' and the daily feeling was more and more awful tiptoeing about every little thing.

    My advice is, follow your instinct. If you feel bad and confused frequently enough around someone while everything is normal with others, then something is very wrong with that person and you should move away as soon as possible.