Will breaking through my shell get easier?

Ok I have been gating out talking to more women mostly at the store , coffee shop, laundry mat ,park and places like that. Since the bar is not the best place for me were else can I go I am 34 and a single dad. Since online dating sucks how can I continue to talk to women with out my insecurity's from popping up. I am really trying to brake my shyness and build real confidences for looks I where t shirts and jeans sneakers is that OK there lose fit I don't like tight fitting cloths. As for my weight I am starting to work on that going for walk and cutting back on what I eat. I am not going to Waite for 2 years to lose weight to get a date or girlfriend. What else can I do to improve my chances I am not going to just settle for some girl I want the girl I want and deserve I know I am smart I know my writing skills and spelling leave lot to be desired you don't need that to talk to some one.

i know my hair is thing on top that why I were hats and cut is very short what are better cloths should I be getting.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A) Yes, it will get easier.

    B) T-shirts are shapeless, so IMHO don't do any favors to guys who are _not_ in great shape. I don't want to radically change your style, but even a polo shirt (collar and a couple buttons) has a lot more structure that might look better. Don't go tight, but don't go loose either. Your clothes should fit well. If the clothes are the right size for you, it sort of makes it seem like YOU are the right size too.

    C) Go hard on the diet, start lifting weights, and keep up the cardio. You shouldn't wait to be thin to go for women- try now - but pursue this aggressively. Not only does it help with women, it helps with your confidence. Getting in shape is not easy, but its easier then say ... teaching yourself to read.

    Keep it up. Talking to women when you're out is a great starting step.


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  • Yes. If you continue to practice talking to women, it will get easier. Have you considered joining a gym and getting a personal trainer? Going out for long walks is a good idea. Start out with one mile, then go up to two after a couple of weeks, and then three. If you can afford it, get a treadmill for when it gets colder, i.e., this time of year. Drink a lot of water too. It will clean out your system and fill your stomach so you won't want to eat as much. Cut back on red meats. Cut back bread products too. They are loaded with carbs which store fat. If you are not already doing so, track your weight weekly and do it on the same day, so every Wednesday for example.

  • My man, proud of you dude ! I've been following you and I know I've been hard on you, but happy to hear you are trying now. Women like well dressed men, dockers, long sleeve shirts, maybe even try a sports jacket. You're 34 so you wanna dress a little more mature but still kinda hip to fashion. Go to a sports store and get some light weights and start doing reps, it will help you burn carbs faster while toning you up. Don't wait two years, just look out for the right opportunity, you could meet her at anytime. Good Luck man!