What constitutes 'chasing' a guy?

Women are often warned not to "chase" a guy, and to let the man pursue us. On the other hand, we're also told than men do like some assertiveness on the part of a woman...They don't want to have to do all the work. So where is the line drawn between chasing and being attractively assertive?

What percentage of social interaction does a man want the woman to initiate? Phone calls, communication? Does a man need to know a woman's level of interest through this type of action?

What percentage of physical/sexual action does a man want the woman to initiate?

We know that men like a challenge and like the chase. However, do men also enjoy being sought after at some level?


Most Helpful Guy

  • there are cultures on this planet that its the norm for the woman to be the "chasers" and the man take a more passive role in that area of courting. It works really well too, the one in china, its a small province there, the woman will sing to a guy when they are working, traveling or passing each other by or what ever and that shows she is not interested in him so there is no outright rejection so the mans ego remains in tact and she is not pestered by unwanted advances, if there is a guy she likes she will be friendly and flirt with him then leave the door to her house open for him to come in at night if he stops by. they don't believe in marriage and every one lives with their blood family so children have multiple mother and father figures in their life, in fact the childrens uncles are their fathers and their real fathers are more like uncles to them. so if a couple breaks up the children are unaffected and remain in a stable home enviroment. the woman are also free to/ expected to work and contribute to the family just as much as any man. its probbly the most equal society I have ever seen, right on par with hunter gatherors except they live in the modern world.

    • Sounds almost apeasing, although, I enjoy my independence. Living with family does not suit me. However, I have no problem contributing. I do well for myself, doing so in a group would just enhance my wellness. In the modern world that I live in, most likely would call the patty wagon if I started sing to men. I would most likely be raped or murdered if I left my door unlocked.

    • lol yeah the literal adaptation to western culture wouldn't work but elements of it are very interesting.

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What Guys Said 2

  • chasing basically means catering to someones ego trying to win them over when they won't give you a straight yes or no answer. in order for there to actually be a chase, the "chasee" has to either a) be playing hard to get or b) be sending mixed signals.

    personally I don't believe in chasing. when I approach someone they have a choice. make the process simple, or make it complicated. by complicating it they are effectively making it into a chase. I don't chase though because I don't believe in catering to someones ego when they don't treat me with basic respect and decency.

    • I totally agree with you. I asked this question because of the "game". I believe that men or women should not have to think "should" I text her/him, "should" I call? However, we do, because of the "rules" we are told. Those rules are confusing.

  • I'm quit often the chased one and don't understand why we shyld chase women, it just sets you up to be manipulated since that's the societal norm.

    • I don't believe men or women should not have to 'chase'. I believe it's a game, both sexes risk manipulation. Usually it is the women that can be manipulated more so, because a lot of women do not know how to have the correct behavior when it comes to dating. The reasons are we have been told thing such things as I stated in my question. This is why asked. Its very confusing.

    • Usually men are supposed to do the chasing in the dating game, so we;re the ones getting maniulated in general. Most women are prettty wise to how the game works and I don't see many of the being manipulated. Abused, maybe, but that's because they do so much manipulating in the game, guys get fed up.

    • My question is what constitutes chasing a guy.

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