How my times do you try to contact someone, before you stop trying?

I have text 3 times over the last 4 days, he hasn't responded to me (one of those texts was a happy Thanksgiving text). Should I text again? Or what?

He called me!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that you have to try several ways (not all at once) to contact him.

    When they make no effort to be seen or heard from (even by mutual friends), and never plan anything or initiate any contact for months, then it shows that they're not interested in maintaining much of a friendship.

    Another one of my friends IS a very busy person. But, I feel that since her wedding, we've gotten CLOSER as friends, which is the opposite of how it usually goes. But WE make an effort. She'll plan things and invite me there; We're closer because we make an effort and that little time to hang out is "special." But I don't feel ignored if I haven't spoken to her or seen her in three weeks.

    3 texts in my opinion, is not necessarily grounds for immediate dismissal.

    I won't always respond to a text. I'm not a big "texting" kind of guy, and I have a limited, crummy phone (I want to be clear that I do try to respond, but that I don't always respond via text).

    I suppose for me it depends on the level of the relationship, the time, and what it's about.

    "Hey, we're going to the 5:15 showing of this movie", if you call him that day, he may not respond. And it may (to him) make sense that he doesn't respond; if he's busy until 6pm and checks messages then, the event has already passed.

    You might consider waiting a week, then try calling him. Wait a few days, then call again (don't sound angry on the phone); A week, week and a half later, try an email for another event. THEN if he doesn't respond, he's a bit flaky, and you can leave the ball in his court.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • In normal circumstances, only once! If the other person is going ghrough something awful, maybe I'd try 2 or 3 times, but that's it. Any time I don't get a response, I mentally cross off their name unless there's some unusual situation.

  • If its not a friend or something, just once.

    But it depends on the text you wrote.

    Not everyone replies to a Thanksgiving text.

    • Thanks, he is a guy I like. He knows I like him. The last text I asked to see him... Guess I won't be texting him again

    • This is what I would do. His pitty if he doesn't want to reply, he had his chance.

      A 4th try won't make it better.

      Maybe you could ask him in person.

    • If I see him in person, I won't be rude. I'm not one to ask the guy to see me. I usually let the guy ask.

  • I think you've done enough, but I guess the question is, why isn't he texting back? Is he an ex or someone you're dating? Did something happen between the two of you for him not to want to text back?

    • Im afraid to answer this... Lol I screwed up awhile back. We were "dating" for awhile, I haven't seen or talked to him in weeks. Earlier this week, he text me saying hey and asking how I was, then when I asked about seeing him... He stopped responding :( Guess I should had put more detail in my question, but I just wanted to know if I should keep trying or not.

    • Not sure how you screwed up, but if he asked about you, he's at least curious about how you've been. Depending on how you screwed up (if he's hurt, for one), you should give him time. Contacting you was his first step, and you've made attempts since then, so just let things go for a bit. If he wants to reply, he will; if he doesn't in a week or two, reach out to him again.

    • I'm not sure if I hurt him or not. I told him I couldn't see him anymore because I cared for him too much. I'm gonna give it sometime, see how I feel in about contacting him in a week or two. I'm hoping he contacts me before then... We'll see. Thank you.

  • :(, I still don't know If I should stop trying.

    • Im a girl, and I don't want to look desperate or krazy :(

  • 3 to 1 ratio

    Don't text him again!

    If there's a legitimate reason why he can't answer he will answer or contact you when he can!

    But if that's not the case he lost interest!


What Girls Said 1

  • Don't contact him again,you will seem desperate.If he is not contacting you,it is likely that he doesn't want to.


    For future questions it helps to put important info like(you like him and he is not responding to you)in the body of your question.It helps with getting good advice.Good luck.

    • Lol yeah, guess I should had said that. Thanks.

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