Should I stop seeing him? We had sex, now what should I do?

We've been dating casually for 2 months. We are in the same friends group - actually he's friends with my brother. So we were out with friends on Friday night and we've always flirted but never been outwardly expressive that we are dating... but they all know. Anyway, he kissed me a couple times and held my hand in front of a friend because he was annoyed that a guy was hitting on me. Then, he was chatting up a few other guys and they asked if I was his girl. He said yes. They were like "you have a great guy for a boyfriend" and I was like "He's not my boyfriend..." He is the one who doesn't want to label. Later, those guys were talking to me and he came over, pulled me out of my seat and had me sit on his lap... in front of everyone. Also started holding my hands and stuff. That night, we were hanging out at a friends house and he started dancing with me in the yard, kissing me and picking me up in front of our friend. At this point, I'm really, really confused - I know he's drunk but still... he is always so private about things. Anyways, we went back to his place to cuddle and he pretty much passed out but asked me to stay with him the next day. Saturday, I text him later and he asked me to come over and watch a movie. I did. We ordered sushi for take out and watched a movie, drank wine. Later, we were making out and he brought up sex (he has before). I told him I really want to be in a relationship and I want a commitment. He said he would be honest and say that he really likes me a lot but doesn't want a relationship right now because he's trying to figure out his life. I'm so confused! He acts like he's my boyfriend but doesn't really want to be my boyfriend. I told him I was afraid of sex because I have been screwed over by someone and he knows I'm a good girl. He said he'd been screwed over before twice. I said I didn't wanna be his friends with benefits or hook up / one night stand. He said I wasn't and agreed that we were dating and he wasn't seeing anyone else. Long story short, I did end up sleeping with him. He asked if I wanted to stop and I said no. He wasn't able to go for long because he drank too much though. He held me all night and morning, we cuddled. He said he would keep me prisoner at his place so I wouldn't go.. We had sex again (I initiated)... but he said he was still out of energy and said "next time" it would be mind blowing because he's a great lover. Then we hung out, he ordered pizza and I left midday. When I left he gave me a kiss and a tight hug (slipping his hands in my back pockets).

Should I stop seeing him? I really don't want to lose him.. I like cuddling and hanging out but I don't want to be hurt and I know realistically I can't change his mind about being in a relationship. I really don't wanna have sex again without a commitment. But, I don't understand why he's acting like he's a boyfriend. I'm also scared he won't speak to me again if that was all he was after... What should I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He wants to be with you, and it seems like he wants to be committed with you. He just probably hates titles. Just let him know that you want to take things slow, but you don't mind cuddling and hanging out with him. If he is understanding, which he could be, then stick with him.

    • I haven't heard from him since I left on Sunday... is that a really bad sign? Or do guys sometimes wait... I don't want things to be weird with us.

  • same old f***ing bullsh*t lie that guys uses all the time just to get in your pants.."Im trying to figure out my life or what I want" bullsh*t! watch he will never "get himself togert" and you'll stuck in the friends zone

    • so, I should stop seeing him then? Now, that he's gotten what he wants he won't want to develop it further even though he was acting that way huh?

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