I want to ask a girl out?

i am 29years old, never had a girlfriend, always being terribly shy with girls. I have had certain fear factors that prevents me putting of relationships. I think just need to get a grip and bite the now. how would why approach her and what do I say to her? I am blady scared mind you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll make a general comment or two, then answer 'how to ask a girl out'.

    First of all, generally chat with people around you. Men, women, young, old, good looking, not good looking. Chat and see how they're responding to you. Do they like you? Are they being minimally polite, or more engaged? With women you might be interested in, how open are they being, are they trying to keep the conversation going, what do their eyes say, how's their body language? So don't try to 'pick up', rather be open and constantly monitor for interest. If a woman seems interested, and you are also interested, then ask for her number.

    If you have met in a context where its understood you might be 'dating' (i.e. online site, or you met somewhere and she gave you her number - it wasn't to be friends) then you can simply suggest a time and place.

    If its someone you sort of know but she hasn't implicitly agreed to date, a good approach is to tell her you are going to such and such a place, and ask if she'd like to join you. The implication is, you're going regardless, but you'd enjoy her company if she'd like. If not, maybe another time. And move on.

    • completely agree with your first comments, To break free of social shyness is to just practice talking to people in general and to be able to talk with the intent of good conversation. Waiting to talk to that 1 hot girl you've been stalking for months will always end in disaster..

    • you have good point. I take your advice on that.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • You need to get some confidence! I am sure you are a wonderful person with a lot to offer. Yes, there are a lot of rude, and mean women out there who will make a mockery of any advance you make at them. But not all of us are like that. You just have to find a girl who seems worth your time, and go for it. The worst that can happen is that she will decline your advances, but at least you put yourself out there. Rejection is hard, but as long as you don't walk away with a defeated attitude and keep your chin up you will be fine. You can try saying something like, "I think you seem really fun, would you by any chance want to go out to dinner with me?" Or something along those lines. You will find someone! Please do not get discouraged! Good luck!

  • just ask her if she wants to hang out.


What Guys Said 2

  • dont think about how and why and what if

    just do it. the more you think about it , the more that can go wrong , and visualising and rehearsing a convo might seem like soemthing good , but it often goes wrong , believe me , been there done that ha ha

    I know this is easier said than done , but it's true

    you need to get over it , you need to just to girls , every time it will be better , sometimes not , but overall it wil improve , and you will get less shy and nervous :) when it fail , so be it , there are lots of other girls in this world . and you are certainly not the ugliest guy in the world ( I won't say attractive , because you aren't attractive to me , as I am a guy and straight as the higway to hell)

    its like a YouTube movie I saw , you have the "bitch-butterflies" , butterflies are that nervous feeling , and bitch is because you're a bitch :p realize that and change it . it's like a rollercoaster , the first time even approaching the rollercoaster feels horrible , riding it is extreme... but after some time you'll just go looking for that feeling of riding a rollercoaster , that anxiety :)

  • i thought I had it bad