Is it wussy for a guy to send his girlfriend good morning texts, text everyday and ask how her day has gone? I'm not pushing for sex because she hasn't dated many guys and I'm a virgin that only wants to sleep with one girl ideally (27 years old, long story) . If she seems emotionally distant or unhappy I try to figure out why and talk about it. We have been dating a month and a half but usually meet 2-3 times a week only.
A female friend read on my phone that I told the girl to 'sleep tight' and said I sounded unmanly and desperate. Do you think she's right?
Most Helpful Guy
Your concerns are well founded.
It's really easy to smother a girl with attention when you're really into her.
Always ask yourself this... "Am I sending her this text because I'm desperate for her to like me back?"
It's really easy to be motivated by our insecurities, which often has the reverse effect of pushing away our partners...
1) If you're feeling unsure how she feels about you then be honest with yourself about it. It's OKAY to not know if she likes you as much as you like her. Accept that you don't know. Accept that you're an awesome dude, likely an awesome loving boyfriend, and that you DON'T need her to like you back.
Realize that if she's WITH you then she's WITH you. Don't become needy and desperate because you NEED her to show you how much she likes you. Stop IT!
2) Give her the gift of missing you.
By texting and staying in constant contact you are killer her reasons to think about you. Instead you can easily start to smother her, especially if she's acting slightly distant. That's her trying to tell you to give her space!
Text her half as much as you currently do, and try to only text in response to something she's done. Be a responder instead of an initiator.
This will help turn the tides from you chasing her to her chasing you. And trust me, she'd rather be chasing you than the other way around!
3) You don't have to have sex in order to build intimacy and connection. I'm glad you're giving her the sexual boundaries she might need... but that doesn't mean you should stop slowly escalating the sexual vibe of the relationship.
It's okay to flirt and touch and connect without sex... besides, there's all types of sexual energy you CAN exchange without using your genitals. ;)
4) Keep your dates to 2 times a week if possible until her need to see you more becomes more obvious. Again, this is about giving her space. When she leans away from you emotionally, you NEED to do the same thing!
Giving her space creates a vacuum between you two which will automatically draw her back to you.
5) If all else fails and she moves on then at least you can be proud of yourself for being an honest and sincere dude, which the next girl will surely appreciate.
6) Attraction is about tension. This can come from flirting and teasing and mystery. So when you text her less, see her less, but continue to flirty and escalate, you're giving her mixed signals... this is where the magic of tension comes from. It'll invite her to wonder how you feel about her... which will put you into her thoughts again... and will invite her attraction towards you to balloon up!
And that's a good thing!
Hope this helps,
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