He gave me oral sex on the first date, texted me a good morning the day after and haven't heard from him since.

Hey guys,

I just went out with a wonderful guy the other night..well things went a bit too far and he ended up giving me oral sex! He didn't want it in return though, odd! Anyways he texted me the next morning saying hey how are you? I replied and said to him, I hope you didn't get the wrong impression of me last night, I typically don't do that ...he replied with no cause for concern...it's been a day and I haven't heard anything from him...

What's going on here...did I get played?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This might sound strange but give it some thoughts before you criticize me.

    I hate it when girls don't stand behind their actions.

    They make out or have sex with a guy and the next day say "I usually don't do that" or "I was drunk" bla bla but we all know you wanted it just as bad as us.

    Girls often pretend they have been "Tricked" into having sex with a guy to save their own reputation (avoid being called a slut).

    I really hate these double standards women have: Have sex with you and then pretend to regret it and try to convince me that "They don't usually do this"

    I always follow my lust, simple as that. Lust doesn't lie> if you want something, you go after it.

    It's ridiculous to be blaming it on something else besides your lust the next day.

    So in my case, if a girl tells me this it's a huge turn off.

    Since I figure a few things:

    - She's indirectly telling me I "Tricked" her, so putting the blame on me instead of viewing it as a good time together

    - She's to insecure to be upfront about her sexual desires and insecurity is a huge turn off as well.

    For those above reasons I usually tend to stay away from girls like that until they have figured out what they want.

    In my experience they usually come back though but I tell them upfront about what I think about their behaviour before getting sexual with them again.

    Instead of saying "I don't usually do this" which puts the WHOLE night in a negative aspect say something like "Hey last night was fun. How was your day?" which is MUCH more positive and likely to have me set up a next date.

    Most guys, especially those with little women to choose from don't mind however and will simply play along with you. But the ones like me can lose interest very fast trough little things because they always have other girls on the side that they can still go too if you are being a turn off. They never think it's their loss so they can cut off communication with you fairly easily and it's up to you to double your efforts to get them back.

    I don't know this guy personally so it's hard for me to tell in what category he falls but I have a hunch that he's a womanizer for the following reasons:

    - he's "wonderful" in your eyes, so he knows how to attract women and is aware of this

    - He's not afraid to escalate sexually, so he has done it many times before

    - He's not desperate to get a blowjob so he's either used to it or likes to tease women (by licking you and not having sex) in either case. It seems like he knows what he's doing.

    But the lesson learned: DO NOT put "last night" in a NEGATIVE perspective.

    Let him know you had a great time and want to meet up sometime again.

    Check out link for more info about these kinds of guys :D


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I can't imagine any man passing up a blow job without some hidden agenda. He may have been trying to demonstrate that he can put your sexual needs above his own. That's good news from any man. You did send him a text and he replied with a text--all very correct and impersonal. If you want any real answers, you'll have to talk to the guy directly and with eye contact. Maybe this guy needs reassurance and doesn't see texting as a means for conveying it. You could always take the lead, tell him you had a good time but would like a more traditional date on round two, then ask when he's available. You have the advantage of knowing you share a powerful chemistry. You could have some fun discovering what else you have in common.

    It may sound strange, but men can and do occasionally regret their snap judgments when it comes to getting laid--almost never before or during, only after. Go talk to the guy and take a chance. Regardless of the outcome, you'll feel better knowing that you didn't take the passive approach and punish yourself for so much indecision.

  • Did you get played? You got the action. Its not like he made you do him and then said...forget it. Its only been a day. If you are that worried...call him back and leave a sexy message on his phone. Let him know you are still interested. If he doesn't call after that...well...

  • he might think it's your turn to message him back. personaly I wouldn't call my date back first thing in the morening unless we chatted online every day normaly.

  • It has been one day, give it a couple more.

  • Stop blaming him:

    You played yourself.

  • Im not sure, you should be great lol,maybe you should ask him what happen last night. try to talk to him and see were his mind is. Maybe he thought you might be freak out of the situation. Next sweetie don tlet that happen. If you weren't drunk or anything maybe he will think he can do whatever he wants to you. NO NO NO not on the first day


What Girls Said 4

  • Dont worry. He maybe backing off a bit or could just be busy. He maybe a bit confused now because you was doing one thing and then saying something different the next day. It seems like he is worried that he come on to strong for you on the 1st date.

    Leave it another couple of days and if he does not message you, meassage him and ask how he is.

    If he does not reply. Leave it a while and try once more. If he does not respond that time then leave it as he is not interested.

  • How did you get played? He's the one who gave you head. Technically, HE pleased YOU and you didn't have to do anything in return. Next time don't bother saying I don't usually do that because they won't believe it anyway lol. I think this guy might not want to come off too strong. Give it a few days. I think he will be calling you.

  • It has only been a day. Wait a little while longer. Maybe he doesn't want to come on too strong again, especially after your response to his text was concern over what happened the night before. I doubt he would've texted at all if he wasn't a bit interested.

  • i dunno... but normally you probably shouldn't do that on the first date... maybe he did think you were easy and it was a cause for concern... but maybe he is just busy... don;t call and don;t text him and see what he does.

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