It's been 2 months, and in person everything's fine... But online, it's not..?

I've been seeing this guy for 2 months now. We have incredible chemistry, and everything seems to be going really well. He works 12 hour days, but still finds time for me during the week, and every Saturday night and Sunday morning. He'll cook me dinner and breakfast... He goes out of his way for me, and the way he looks at me, and the way is with me after we have sex tell me that he cares.

BUT: We met online... He still checks the site that we met on, which I can't really complain about, since I obviously do to (to see if he's been logging in... stupid, I know). So that's fine I guess, seeing as we haven't talked about exclusivity yet... But another weird thing is, he still hasn't accepted my friend request on Facebook, and I know that he's logged in since I sent it...

So what's up? Why won't he add me to Facebook? Am I being played? It seems like that would be almost impossible, since he spends more than half of his free time with me, and often calls me on nights when we can't see each other, before he goes to bed, or when he's leaving work.

Well, he's now added me to Facebook. +1 Haha. There's nothing suspicious going on there... He doesn't seem to use it very often, that's all.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Um...I hate to say it, but you could still be being played, because I know guys like that.

    He may not be quite as into you as you think he is.

    Some guys are very good at making an impression so it looks like they care, because that obviously works to their advantage. It's learned behavior. It may not even be that he is trying to play you, just that it kind of comes natural to him to act a certain way. He may not even know how he feels about you.

    Of course, this deception may not be entirely his fault, since you may be projecting your own feelings to how you think he should feel about you. How you feel he treats you after having sex with him is not a good indicator of how much he cares.

    The fact is there is a reason he is holding back. Whatever that reason is, your relationship with him lacks trust. I am also surprised that you've been with him for 2 months, and not even managed to ask him why he didn't add you on Facebook? Why? If you want to have a strong relationship with him, you need to be able to ask him simple questions like that. Otherwise, you are both hiding things from each other and being kind of fake.

    • Thank you - I finally got my head around that, and have decided to end things with him, since he doesn't seem to be able to open up to me... Which is kind of necessary, if our relationship is going to progress. Why are you staying anonymous, by the way? Don't be a stranger -- I appreciate your answers (including your insight re: Gardasil).

    • Show All
    • lol, good call.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You don't know him that well if you met online, I'll bet...reserve judgment..he may have other such relationships going! Sure sounds suspicioous, no? Online playing isn't that difficvult!


What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like he didn't allow you to step into his life yet. He isn't accepting your Facebook request and is logging onto this dating site which is weird. He might be caring but he doesn't really trust you yet. The guy is weird. I'd say don't confront him right away rather than just monitor his behavior for a while or if you want to talk about it, just do it.