My boyfriend told me that I should experiment and go with other people so I will be ready for marriage?

Hi everyone! I have been going out with someone for 2 years. I love him and he loves me very much. Yesterday he told me that he wants to take our relationship to the next level. He meant marriage. He is my first boyfriend and for this reason I'm very confused. He told me that if I feel like I need to take a break for a couple of months to see what else is out there, then that's what I should do. But he said there are no guarantees that 'we will get back together if that's what I decided to do.

He said there's a chance that I could fall in love with someone else and he could as well...He's ready for marriage, I'm not. I love him very much and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him but I have this fear, like I didn't experience life. What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are not ready for commitment then don't marry him .... his suggestion about meeting other guys might sound like a good idea, but at the moment is he gonna wait for you? or he is gonna do the same? It might sound like a good idea but in reality is not because the relationship will not be the same anymore... my friend did that with her husband; they both tried other people while married, and they have lost respect for each other unfortunately.

    Every time they argue, he would throw on her face that she too enjoyed other guys and of course women get the rough part.... it does not matter if you guys make an agreement because at the end it would not matter to either of you.... it will always be on your head.... so like I always told my friend, it was a risky decision and now she regrets it...

    If you think you need to experience life then do it and don't get married yet.... you are still young .... just ask him for time, tell him you are not ready to step into a marriage.... let your relationship grow more and see what happens.... but if you guys decide to meet other people, it is a risk you have to take, like he said you or him might fall for that other person ..... you may have more to lose than him, remember that...


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Getting married very young can be may never really get to see what your options are. Some people don't need to know, but for others it may come up later in life.

    This is a tough situation, but he may be wiser than his years. People change as they grow up and the best thing a young person can do is to be fully aware of everything they can before getting into something as serious as marriage.

    With that said, I would not have said that if it was me. I think your right in this and he is not. Be in love and be happy, you don't need to be in a hurry to get married.


What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think you should 'experiment'. If you do that then there's a chance you'll feel really forced to gain a bit more experience, and end up with loads of people!

    I suggest you guys keep dating! Who says you need to speak of marriage yet!? You say you love him - well then why potentially leave him to be with a load of guys you don't love?

    Keep dating as long as you both want and if you feel like you don't love him anymore then you can easily leave him and take your time with other men.

    Just take love as it comes to you!


    • Idk if this helps any but I'm having the same exactly problem I always feel like I'm missing something like I've never had my heart broken. sometimes I wish I could date someone else to find out if he's right but I want to stay with my boyfriend.

  • Hey Ive had the same thoughts I married my high school sweetheart and only really dated one other guy before him and had many thoughts of maybe I didn't get to do the things that other girls got to. You know what I don't really care though cause I love him more than anything. Ive been tempted but never wanted to take it. If you love him as much as you say then he would be worth given up that fear of all of it. I say if you aren't ready for marriage tell him but also let him know he is the only one he wants. If you live with him as well it will show you whether you want that or not. Moving in together is totally diff.

  • I know you are confused don't take a break it properly the worst thing you could possibly do other then cheating on him, from experience things may never be the same again. You have to do what you want. As for me, me and my guy took a break there were reason for that and he doesn't want to get in a relationship with me now even though we are having sex still. When you say taking a break will you still hang out with him. Think long and hard its really is an important decision.