She hasn't lost all interest yet, how to save this?

I've gone out with this girl a few times, with long breaks in between dates. She was really into it on our first date, then came over for our second date where we just kissed, and we went out for a third date.

It's hard to explain but it seems like she's still interested but she isn't getting VERY interested very fast. She answers all my calls/texts, but never initiates contact. She talks about interesting things and asks about me, she doesn't dominate the conversation with herself. We've kissed at least once on every date. BUT - she isn't showing signs of being very interested yet. I'm used to a girl either showing interest by now or just not being into it at all.

Should I keep taking it very slow and just going out occasionally to see where it may go? Try something drastic? Talk to her about it (my gut feeling tells me not to do this)?

I listed some options I'm considering in the poll below. This shouldn't be this hard should it?

What do you thing guys/gals?

  • Just stick with it, sometimes it takes longer. you're doing fine
    Vote A
  • She's not into it enough, forget about her
    Vote B
  • Try something more drastic, something that will really tell you if she's interested or not
    Vote C
  • Take a long long break from talking to her, date other girls, and then call again in a few weeks if you feel like it
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like I'm this situation lol. I actually really like the guy and I'm into him, but I get shy around him so I tend not to dominate the conversation. I'll talk, but I like learning more about him and I don't wanna sound too into myself so I don't talk too much about what's going on with me. Also, I only kiss him when he initiates it although I'd kiss him every second as I could. Pretty much, I do like him a lot but I'm scared of getting hurt, also I don't want to seem to on his nuts, I'll definitely do more once I feel like he really likes me if that even makes sense.

    • yeah it makes sense, but it's a very very fine line between letting you (the girl) know I (the guy) am interested and scaring her off by trying to move too fast. I'm trying to avoid moving too fast and scaring girls off, but that seems to be working against me here. I don't know this is frustrating

    • Show All
    • yeah that's true, it was just one kiss at the very end of our last date. it's not exactly easy to do that stuff over dinner, but maybe after.

      what I mean is that by signs of being interested is things like making obvious attempts to get closer, flirting, even calling/texting me before I call/text you. on our last date she pretty much just talked to me like a friend and her body language was consistent with that. also, she responds every time I call/text but never initiates.

    • well if she keeps going out with you, she's interested. I don't keep going out with guys if I'm not feeling it. I think she secretly just waiting for you to text you so she can text you back. that's what I do with the guy I'm going out with now (dates not a relationship yet). I get excited when I see his texts, and I text back. I don't initiate it usually just because I wanna know I'm on his mind.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Well I am kind of in the same situation. I am a very straightforward person. I like to know where I am at with people. If I were you I would ask where this was going. And in the event she really isn't that interested, just express you would still like to hang out as friends (if you want to of course). You never know what can happen down the road.

    • this is the advice I'm getting from every female friend I have. I feel like this destroys any mystery there is in the situation, and mystery is good if used properly. wouldn't you agree?

      that's why I'm leaning towards doings something more bold. an ACTION that will let her know I'm interested, rather than sitting her down and being all like "well I really like you and gosh it would be swell if you like me too. here, take my balls"

  • When you said "your gut feeling tells you not to do this" did you mean you don't feel like you should talk to her about it? Or you don't feel right about the situation?

    • I feel like talking about it can mess things up completely. I don't feel great about the situation but that's just because I'm confused.

What Guys Said 1

  • I dunno, she could just be really passive type of girl as most girls are so keep trying. But if she's really interested and such she should try. You should talk about it tomorrow.

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