I can't deal with backing off of my girlfriend when she expects space from me, HELP!

We used to hang out often outside of school and talk to each other a lot until she got grounded starting November 20th. We went out for 4.5 months, unhealthy relationship, always made up after fights, I always start unexpected fights at least 3 times a week until she got grounded. We love each other no matter what and want to be forever. We also want to try being in a healthy relationship but don't know how, and we don't want to lose each other. Sometimes she says it's up to me if I want to break up when she's in a good mood. & gets sad today when I asked her if she thinks we would really last forever, I said because I think we can and felt okay.

We won't be hanging out during Winter Break and starting today, but I really want to sometimes. She told me to just wait if we're going to hang out and have fun. She expects space from me, and no she's not playing games with me even though I get suspicious sometimes. I hate how she looks like she's making excuses from hanging with me. SHe doesn't know if we'll ever hang out during Winter Break. I'm pretty sure she can hang out with her friends. We can actually hang out outside of school when her semester grade is good.

She got mad at me one time when I tried to encourage her to lie to her parents just so then we can hang out. I also wanted to talk to her mom to work things out, but she's like don't! In middle of her being stressed out during that time. I usually see her every after class because I miss her a lot. We never hang out during lunch, we just don't. We do hang out before school and after school a lot until this week there's finals. I trust her that she's not trying to cheat on me or anything. It's just that I can't really back off of her. SHe was creeped out today when I saw her walking with her friends. I was heading to downtown while she was heading to the mall with her friends.

1.) How do I stop being a stalker and creeping her out? Even though I miss her a lot? I'm expected to give her space.

2.) Will she be really mad if she finds me following her while she goes out with family and friends?

3.) How will I cool down and stop worrying about hanging out with her and just wait patiently? I'm not dumping her, we both don't want to break up because we love each other no matter what.

4.) Any tips, comments?


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What Girls Said 2

  • You should find some thing that will pre-occupy yourself, I know I had a relationship simular to this, (me being the girl in this situation). However, I did not enjoy the boy watching me and meeting me in between classes. Eventually we did fall apart, he decided that he should go to a different school; considering we would always get together and fight; ALL THE TIME!

    Also you could try to "have a break" which seems that's what she seems to want (the way you explain she's acting). You could also talk to her one on one, total honesty be completly open to all the problems and solutions you can think of...

    Sorry if this doesn't help, I don't know how you feel but I'm trying to help.

  • here's what you do, you gently tell her that you can't stand to be apart, she will think that's sweet and possibly not be seperate from you. you will need to give her some space and if you follow her she may think that you don't trust her and leave.


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