21 y/o woman - masculine dress style- never had a date/been kissed

I've never had a guy interested in me. I have a more masculine (wear guys jeans, ball caps, button down shirts when going out/dressing up, don't wear dresses, skirts, makeup, etc) style of dress and am a college athlete. I would probably also be classified as a "nerd" but I'm not necessarily attracted to other nerds :). Any advice for getting asked out on a date/ guys to notice me?

I don't want to change who I am, or what I wear in order to be noticed, but I would like someone to find me attractive or ask me out on a date.



Also- guys/girls, any advice on hairstyles that look good with that clothing style? I literally wear a ponytail everyday, and it's more annoying/out of control when I try to leave it down for a special occasion. I have longish blond hair- if that helps. Maybe mixing up the typical look will get guys to notice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • " I don't want to change what I wear in order to be noticed."

    You mean, dressing in a way that shows off feminine aspects of you that men find attractive?

    Call me crazy - but I think that could help.

    I'm a college athlete too - I usually wear hoodies and sweats, or a t - shirt and sweats because dressing in outfits with practice and all doesn't make much since.

    Honestly, I've had a couple guys ask me if I was into girls - simply because of the way I dress.

    So you could be sending a red flag to guys that your a lesbian - which isn't true at all.

    it's just the stereotype around sporty girls, on top of you pretty much dressing like a dude, I take it you don't wear make up or do anything appealing your hair - yea makes you seem like you like chicks, not guys.

    There's nothing wrong with looking feminine sometimes - at least every once and a while. If you have dude friends, which I'm sure you do, that could be possibly crushing on you, dressing a little fem will only make them want you more.

    Men like women for being women. Just like girls like guys for being guys.

    You wouldn't want to date a dude wearing tight skinny jean pants, some high heeled furry boots, his nails done and face done - his hair curled up, delicate dainty build - now would you?

    You saw a guy like that - your first thought is - hmm he's gay.

    Just an example that works vice versa here.

    So you dressing straight up like a dude, isn't helping your cause.

    With that said - you can still be a tomboy and be attractive.

    I know I know - guy's clothes are so f***ing comfortable - but you may have to trade in a couple slacks for some more feminine jeans - the one's that make your ass look good to dudes.

    Get some non - baggy, super too big - type t-shirts. So your breast will be flattered a little better.

    Play with your hair a bit, maybe a little make up - emphasize your natural beauty a bit.

    Be flirty - I don't know bout you, but I have a habit of taking on that " dude" mentality around guys. I'll be dressed in heels and a tight fitting dress and still bust a fart joke with some friends ha ha -

    Sometimes it helps to be a bit more fem though - even though you could probably kick a dudes ass, playing the more cutesy girlie card, guys kind of soak up.

    You don't have to turn into miss beauty queen - just try something like this:


    lol I know it's a cartoon - but her outfit resembles what I wear usually :P



    • thanks ^^ don't be afraid to be a bit sexy when you get more comfortable :P it never hurts to play with a dress or a pair of heels XD

      Good luck finding some man candy :P

    • Show All
    • yea - from my experience the athletic guys are more for the sluttin it up girls :\ but usually it's for that feminism. The guys I see dating athletic girls are more prep guys, or nerdier guys lol - quite the opposite. An athletic guys will date an athletic girl - but usually those girls aren't tomboy - they embrace their fem side. It's like, he see's you working out, being strong - that's attractive - but he's still a man, and he likes a pretty face -

    • and a nice female body. A couple guys liked me on my track team, and basket ball team - usually when they'd see me around school wearing actual fem clothes (there's a pic of how I dress sometimes when I'm feeling kind of girlie :P)

      Probably because it showed off my female assets. Lol I mean, you and I work to get these nice bodies - what's wrong with showing them off a bit? lol :P

      That def doesn't mean slut it up either. Just express yourself as a woman --

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Interact with males. As in, get male friends. That could help.

    It's more rare for some guys to randomly waltz up to you and say "Hey babe wanna go for a ride?" than to actually get a substantial relation first and only THEN establish anything.

    If I were female, I'd tell the "first type" of guys to go ride themselves off a cliff. But that might be just me.

    • My point was, make male friends, and you might find someone you'll get close with.

  • Watch "Annie Hall"

    • why do you say that?

    • Well, it's a love story about a guy who falls in love with a woman who dresses very masculine.

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with the other answer above me. Men may get the wrong idea because you don't dress very feminine, they may be stereotyping you as a lesbian. You don't have to totally pull a 180 and go out in miniskirts, heels and a crapload of makeup...but you can change up your style a little bit. My typical outfit is jeans and a hoodie/tshirt, but when I go out, I change it up. Try wearing womens jeans and maybe a more form-fitting top when you go out. You don't have to be half naked to get a guy to notice you, you just have to give him a hint that you're at least a little feminine! I'm sure you're attractive, but he won't be interested if he can't see you're hiding behind baggy jeans and a button down shirt!