Why does he know he wants to be with me but can't yet?

i'm so confused. so I got blowoff from guy after I sent him a text that kinda told him off (long story). but then after two weeks, he contacted me via text said how sorry he was for blowing me off that my text was completely fair to send that he was really sorry that he had had feelings for me but was overwhelmed and had to focus on custody fight with ex wife and was so stressed and overworked and tired and had to focus. that he wanted to keep seeing me that I was great girl but that he had to wait until he got his custody stuff dealt with first. that he would call me and he understood if I didn't pick up. I said I understood, etc. well we both met online...he sometimes still goes on, but I try not to read into that too much as some guys said he may just be bored and it may mean nothing. especially Because he seems likehonest and legit guy. but that confuses me...he was looking at my pics on the site when I was on and was listed as "most attracted" to me based on his viewings of me. I ended up getting off the site Because I don't want to deal with most of the losers who write me and I don't feel like seeing when/if he goes on. but y if he thinks I'm so great and knows he wants to see me after this is all over, y wouldn't he want to see me or talk to me now? I feel it keeps me on the hook and how about if he never does end up calling me. but it's hard to let go really like him. and I'm not the kinda girl to wait around for someone but I feel he may be worth it? but am I being a fool?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay... You feel like a guy that you met online, that's in a custody battle(divorced), that blew you off, may be worth it?... ummmNo.

    Sounds like he's dating/f***ing around. Not in a Player sort of way. In a taking anything he can get sort of way.

    How did he blow you off? Doesn't matter how busy you are; It takes 20 seconds, Tops, to send a "Hey, I can't make it. Really sorry." text message.

    I'd say, if he stopped talking to you for 2 weeks, then started back up again, he was probably seeing someone else that he liked more, but it didn't work out so he went back to you.

    • that's what was thinking it could be too...but then y not try to date me right now if that was the case? like if it was other girl and it didn't work out but he still isn't ready to date me? yeah, it's so confusing. but your prob right that he is playin around and keeping me on hook. ugh. I'm so sick of guys lol...

    • In my experience, if it seems suspicious, it probably is. Trust your instincts because your heart often just tells you what you want to hear.

      There's no reason to take 2 weeks to apologize and confess your attraction.

    • well said...yeah, I'm going to move on and if he ever contacts me again will deal with him then...not going to waste more time thinking about a guy who might not care about me

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What Guys Said 1

  • well here is my personal opinion, you met him online, that's a bit of a signal to not date him to me. I've never dated a girl from an online site, but that's just me. Now to get to you. You know a break up is hard, how about a divorce? I'm sure that puts a bigger toll on the body than a break up, and he's trying to gain ownership of his own kids, so he's stressing out because if his ex wife gets them, he won't be able to see them as much, now for the part about him wanting to talk to you but can't right now may sure as heck just mean he's overly stressed out and on edge and can't function as himself. For me, when I get really stressed, I'm not Allen, my girlfriend can even tell when somethings the matter. Here's an idea, make a pros and cons list, I know its helped becuase its helped me as well as my friends. Then decide if you actually want to pursue him after he just got out of a divorce wether he initiated it or she did.

    Hope this helps clear your mind.

    - Allen


What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like he is really worth it to you and like he is really important to you so you should keep on waiting for something that is worth the wait. And you need to understand that he is going through a rough time in life and he needs time to breathe and get over his past and in order for that to happen you need to be his friend and encourage him before you guys actually move on to the relationship stage, he needs to know that you are there for him in the bad and good times so yes cut him some slack and try to be his friend before anything happens...

    • Ooppps forgot about the online thing, online dating is kind of weird' so make sure you really know him before anything happens

    • thank you for your feedback! if I hear from him I will try to be there for him if it feels right