This guy was really into me online but could never materialize in person. Why.

He flirted online. He said he wanted to get to know me, go on dates, maybe even see if we could try an exclusive relationship. We talked on the phone and IMed almost daily for a month, sometimes several time a day. I feel like we had a little cyber relationship, complete with a little sexy phone conversation. Three days ago, he sent an e-mail saying he wanted to set something up soon, "favorited" me, wrote that he thought I was beautiful and that he gets very aroused thinking about me. Today he deleted his online dating profile. We have each others' I'm addresses and he has my number but I don't have his (he always called me with a blocked number). Should I write him off?

Footnote: I don't sense he lied to me about anything. I verified his job, background, family, where he lived, marriage status, etc. with a background check. But I did notice he used a much more flattering, younger, much thinner looking photo of himself for his dating profile picture than the one he has posted on his work website. He doesn't know I know his last name and was able to Google him. Well, maybe he knows. He revealed enough identifying information for me to figure out his full name. My gut tells me he might not look like the person he presents himself as. Think I'll hear from him again?

The last thing I e-mailed him was that I could tell that he was on the online dating site (it shows which members were active) but I was bummed I that couldn't reach him by IM. Maybe he just wanted to protect his privacy and I scared him a bit.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree that calling you from a blocked number is very shady and should be considered a red flag. You've been communicating for a month, but you still don't have his number? Either he's encountered many crazy women before and doesn't want anyone having his number until he confirms their sanity or he's being sketchy. A month is a bit long to be communicating without meeting. I'd say agree to meet up and see what happens.


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What Girls Said 2

  • hmmm that's a good question especially about the part of him using old photos of himself. something tells me that he's self conscious of his self (ie. weight gain or hair loss). he probably deleted his profile because he would like to pursue you but it sounds like he's hesitating about meeting you in person. I'd i.m. him and ask him what's up and if he's in or out. no sense in wasting anymore time for somebody who's not ready to show themselves for who they really are.

    ps. calling you from a blocked number is a serious red flag like a total cloak and dagger thing

    • Thanks, Ladies! You are wise women. I need to learn to expect a little more out of these guys.

  • He sounds sketchy I wouldn't count on him