A new guy in my life sets up dates by texts, not phone calls.

I met someone via an online dating site. He gave me his number, and said he would welcome mine (notice he didn't ask for it - this appears to be a pattern). He immediately called and we spoke over an hour. From that point, he's only texted me to say he enjoyed meeting me and then "hint" at the next "meeting." We've gone on two "dutch" dates (I didn't know how to handle the situation when the check came, so I offered to pay for my modest meal and he went along with it). It seems he's shown other signs of romantic interests (listens attentively, looks me straight in the eye when either of us is speaking, smiles in a shy way, gives little compliments like my outfit looks nice , or my hair looks nice). by the way, he's not shy but he is introverted (and I know there is a difference). I noticed he doesn't "ask" me on a date but makes a statement and waits for me to verbally throw back the ball and "nail" the specifics. Likewise, he makes suggestions for activities in future months.He's also made tiny attempts to touch me - a light touch on the arm, a few moments of holding my hand, a brief hug.

My questions: Is this guy interested in a platonic or romantic relationship with me? And WHY does he text (and keep it to brief, direct exchanges) rather than call me?

First, thanks to you four gents who replied. From our recent conversation, I think he doesn't have much (if any) dating experience. Neither do I. I didn't see your replies until *after* our last two "get-togethers* (he paid for the next date, and so I offered to treat for the one following - which I did). He still won't make a phone call, though I've clearly &casually made it clear that is the best way to reach me. I will defo try your tips before deciding whether or not to "move on." Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • i would say I'm in such a position a few years ago.

    i wasn't very educated in how to handle social settings. I was afraid to make phone calls because I didn't have time to think and plan my reply. I don't know how to act on a date. I don't even know if I'm supposed to pick up the check or send her home. these things aren't taught to me when I was a kid. perhaps he is in such a position now.

    these things come with experience and I think that guy whom you've been dating online lacks experience. ask him about his dating experiences and maybe that can be an interesting conversation topic as well as letting you know why he acts that way.

    if you want to know if he likes you, perhaps you could ask him in a non-confrontational manner to see what he thinks would be the sort of girl he likes, then asking him if you fit the bill. I've been asked that before(:

    hope this helps(:


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Dump him, if it's this bad already it's only gonna get worse. He's a cheap skate... strike one... he is a Text fiend... (no commitment) Strike 2 I can't wait to see what strike 3 will be... but if I were you I'd make a new rule... 2 strikes and your out...

    Move on... I don't know what's is going on in this guys brain but life is too short to find out.


  • i agree even back then guys have always been socially awkward we aren't taught have to conversate or speak our mind we are all about action its easier for guys to show how they feel versus talking over the phone or text messaging.alot don't have much experience in dating..and its rare that you find a guy over the internet that has experience..those guys don't need computers and techs gadgets they have what you call game they know how to go about what they want.

  • It's the new way of dating , especially for internet dating ... phone calls for dates are really not that common anymore here at Europe , well at least not in my peer group of 20 year olds...

    it looks like he is interested in a romantic relationship to me


What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;