So I am imagining life without law school, like if I had a baby instead.. I know I am rushing but I need it

I just turned 21 at the end of December, and I will be graduating college in a year and a half, so of course law school was in my plans which means that I need to do LSAT prep this summer so I can take it in the Fall and apply to schools. I recently met this guy on POF and I mean I know that like I don't want to get my hopes up because things never work out for me but I am hoping and praying that maybe I will date this guy, and get to FINALLY have sex lol and just be with someone and be someones other half and it will be great. Anyways I met him and he is perfect and he says he likes me and I am thinking about having sex with him (after we are officially dating) and he has made it clear that he doesn't use condoms on girls he is dating. I am on birth control so OK that's fine, but I mean what if I got pregnant? He seems like a great guy, he says within 5 years he wants to be married and have children and I want the same thing. I really want to be someones wife and mother, and of course I would LOVE to go to law school but if that doesn't happen then I mean who cares? I am kind of just looking for advice from other women who are mothers. Here is my dilemma, I want all of this, but I want it the "right way" no offense to anyone, but I want to like be married and then have babies and have real family like the way I grew up with my married parents who love each other so much after 25 years, well part of me wants that, the other part of me is like WHO CARES just have a beautiful little baby who will always be around and you'll never be lonely again. I guess that is the problem, I am just so lonely. And I don't know how to occupy myself anymore like I can't say that if I ended up dating this guy and being in a sexual relationship with him I wouldn't try to get pregnant, I just want to feel like someone wants me and needs me you know? Like I am constantly rejected by guys lol they obviously do not want me so at least if I had a baby I would be busy and it would need me and want me you know? But at the same time that is not a baby's responsibility to keep me happy and I would want to provide a good life for my baby.

I don't know what I am asking, I just want like advice and opinions because I feel like I am so low right now, like I have never been more unhappy, but things (other than my relationships with men) are going so well for me. But to me the most important thing is meeting someone to be with, I just don't know what to do anymore?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you should throw away your dreams for a guy, EVER. I am applying to law school now and working my ASS off. Do not take your opportunities for granted. The LSAT is a bitch but you'll get through it. Don't throw your dreams away, especially for some guy you just met online. You are thinking WAYYYYYY too much ahead. I don't trust that he doesn't use condoms. He sounds really sketchy for me. And I think if you have a baby without a man it is stupid and you will regret it. Stop right now, take two steps back,and look at the bigger picture. You are so young, DO NOT THROW YOUR DREAMS AWAY.

    • +1 very good answer

    • You're wasting your time. Lucky 1227 is a notorious troll on this site. She's an attention whore who posts a question regarding "I want a baby" every couple weeks. At least. Who knows how many she's posted anonymously.

    • I don't post anon, and I honestly have not posted a baby question in a VERY long time BECAUSE I was away for a semester doing an internship so computer was not my main focus. Nor have I ever "trolled" everything I write on here is legit how I am feeling and this post is no different, I think if you actually went through and read it you make think differently black mask

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Congrats Lucky. I suspected this. Hard choices ahead. You will have to sort out your sexual identity.

    1. Date.

    2. Fall in love.

    3. Marry "well".

    4. Have the baby some time after your wedding day and avoid "showing" before it.

    5. Nurture the baby as a stay at home mom for 1-2 years.

    6. Find time for LSAT prep during the many hours of baby naps.

    7. Also dispassionately evaluate the legal profession, prospects and demands.

    6. Find a trusted mom-surrogate for day care.

    7. Take and pass the LSAT

    8. Apply to second tier law schools like Suffolk in Boston. Once you are practicing, nobody cares where you went to school.

    9. Practice in a field that matters (business, real estate, Constitutional, civil rights}, not that mines the poor like personal injury and divorce.

    10. Decide which life you want. Practicing Soccer Mom or Practicing Attorney. You can't have both.

    Good luck.

  • you can be with the guy and still go to law school. Everyone has a plan for their life and where they wanna go and what they wanna do, and it usually changes, and they are usually happy.

    so maybe this guy won't need kids in 5 years. maybe you guys can wait. that's assuming it works out. I understand, sometimes girls meet a guy they really like and start thinking like that, but seriously, you guys aren't even dating yet and your talking about already getting married and having kids with him. If it works out, and I hope it does, then you will both figure out what is perfect for the both of you.

    and if it works out with him, you won't feel lonely, and you won't need a kid to suit your own needs

    also, don't settle. you may feel lonely now, and you might think that this guy is super amazing and who your gonna be with forever just because you don't wanna be alone, you may trick yourself into thinking that. so date him, get to know him for who he is, and not for what you want him to be. and if it works out, it works out, and one day, when your settled in to what you want to do, whether it involves becoming a lawyer or not, you'll be able to have that dream life of yours. goodluck

  • Judging by this post, the very last thing you need is a baby.

    I don't say that to be mean, it's just that having a baby to make yourself happy or lift yourself out of depression is one of the worst and most irresponsible decisions you could make. It's also not fair to the kid. They shouldn't be the tool with which you try to fix your issues.

  • wow your really looking into it to hard, you go to a big school, talk to guys thier

  • I think it's bad for you to rush into it. You're actually really young and today people are living much longer and marrying later. Don't rush into the whole marriage and baby thing. That haven't even had time to live a normal adult life yet.

    Try to shoot for kids (if you MUST have kids) between 25-30 for a woman. For a man I think you should choose a guy older, 30-35. You want someone who won't be doing non-daddy things in his spare time.

    Also why do you have to have kids? Have you even stopped to think about that? Once you have kids you're life is not your own anymore, your responsibility to them comes first as a parent. Unfortunately many parents who shouldn't be having kids are having them anyway because "that's just what everyone does". This is also the reason why we have so many degenerate children, kids who are crying out for help. I hear that these days kids dress up like vampires and howl between classes (thanks Twilight)

    Also why do you have to be married, the divorce rate is 50%, plus with how young you are now you could easily live to over 120yrs with all the technological advancements in the future. That means you'll be with one guy for almost 100yrs.

    You really need to think about these things before you go making huge decisions.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think you are REALLY rushing into things. I met my boyfriend on POF too. We have had sex too, but we knew we were in love and we felt it was the right thing to do. We plan on getting married within the next two years, but are definitely not going to set ourselves up for failure by having a baby before we're married and we definitely use condoms. Not using a condom is very irresponsible and is more likely that he has a disease. You always want to get them checked for disease BEFORE you ever have sex because if you get it, you can't reverse it.

    No real commitment means no promises (that he'll still be there for you if you get pregnant)

    I know this from experience.

  • Hahahahah...and I'm a slut... Bitch,your just looking for guys who are gonna do you a f***en favor ...lmao and like you wrote most guys can't even do you the favor on dating your ugly,LONLEY ass...haha... You make me laugh do f***en hard bitch ... Haha and look I was right you were just jeolous because no one wants to f*** your ass... Haha you may have won the battle earlier,but sweety I hella won the war...

    • Sweetie you won the war? Let's see I have the option of law school what do you have the option of whore? You're 17 and pregnant have fun working at McDonalds bitch, you have a bastard kid and a baby's dad who I would bet won't stay with you.. You're a trailer park whore from the looks of it and by the way you write you obviously aren't educated either. You have nothing to offer a child or a guy tbh. You're trash. So sorry bitch I still win... BOOM

  • go for it. one less person for me to compete with ;)