I'm worried she'll say no, what to do?

Hey all,

Ok. I joined a dating site (pof). I chatted with a girl who works where I used to a long time ago. As you can tell from my pic (aeropostale shirt) I'm not the best looking so I'm fearing she will say no

I told her I can stop by and visit and she said "if you want to :p"

What does :p and lol :p mean?

The only girl I ever went out with, who turned out to be crazy, asked me out so I never asked a girl before. Whenever I talk to girls I always doubt myself and am not a deal closer but I want to ask this one out as I think she is pretty. I don't think I'm the best looking and have low confidence and fear she will say no.

What can I do and say?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just go for it, ask her if she wants to go for a cup of coffee or your treat or something and just talk...but don't think of her as someone you want to intimate with just to get to know her. That way you take the pressure of you having to make her like you off your shoulders. Then you just see how things are going at the end of your "hanging out" and determine if you think she likes you, or you are going to be just friends. and based on that decide if you want to ask her to a diner if she seems to like you, or if you should meet up with some friends and do something another time. Just remember to give her compliments...but subtle ones and not just about physical appearance but like her she's funny and smart. Then ask her things about herself and look for things you have in common and then branch off a conversation on that. Then you can make inside jokes and stuff for the next time you hang out. Making it even smoother and you less nervous.

    • problem is I can't talk to girls. I don't know what to sya

    • Show All
    • should I get friends to talk me up?

    • no...not at all. that's way too junior high. just ask her to have a coffee with you and don't say "it's not a date or anything" major turn off. just say wanna come have a cup of coffee with me my treat. talk to her and get to know her. see if you guys have similar intrests and build from there. your done. if she likes you then ask her out again

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • It could be one of two things.. She is trying to say yes without sounding desperate, or she doesn't want too because he does not want to hurt your feelings! But from what I just read I'm pretty sure it's the first choice:) you should joke around about meeting her, make her laugh. And maybe surprise her? You better hope she's not crazy ha ha but she's probably not, but don't doubt yourself around her. Just go for it:)

  • She's being friendly and teasing you a bit. it's a good sign, go and say hi to her. Ask her how's she's been and be nice. Don't worry so much :)

  • Go for it!


What Guys Said 2

  • You should definitely meet her. :p is just a jokey, semi-flirty thing to put. So is ;) :D etc... it doesn't necessarily mean they're sticking their tongue out or whatever lol, some people just put smileys in everywhere! If she didn't want you to visit, she could have made up an excuse, but she didn't so that means that she's at least OK with you going to visit.

    As for the whole online dating and being worried about your looks... do you have a picture on pof? If you do, then she has already seen what you look like and is talking to you, so she's not going to be horrified or anything. Looks aren't important for everyone. Anyway, you might not be the best looking guy but you're not ugly.

    Try to relax and just be yourself when you go to see her. I wouldn't ask her out straight away when you see her, unless you've been chatting for a long time online. But she'll be at work, so you can just call in and see her for five minutes, then before you leave, say something like "it was nice to meet you. We should meet up again sometime out of work." If she says yes then that means that when you go for a proper date, you don't need to worry at all about your looks because she will have seen you in person and if she still likes you at that stage then that's great, you can forget your insecurities.

    So yeah, don't expect her to stay and talk to you for ages or whatever, if she's at work she might not be able to, so if she looks like she's trying to get away, don't be offended, just tell her that you'd like to see her again and let her get on with it. Apart from that, just be yourself, be friendly, be a little flirty etc. Probably give her a hug when you meet her. And if you feel like it's a bit awkward, you can use the excuse "well I'd better let you get on with your work" and leave. But I'm sure you'll be fine!

    Good luck :)

  • go for it, meet her