Guys, hook up help please?

It's sort of an update to this- link

We hung out for the first time since breaking up, and everything was nice. We went to eat at a nicer place than expected and he insisted on paying, even though I had every intention of paying for my share of things. Overall, pretty chill night. Was much better than I'd expected.

Then he asked about hooking up. I told him no. He wasn't upset, just surprised. While I wouldn't mind, I just felt that after hanging out once, going there that soon wouldn't win me any points. I wouldn't have a problem just hooking up, but there's just so much bs to consider- exes hooking up is a bad idea, is he going to turn into a jerk and disappear, etc.

My main question is that I'm wondering how can I tell that he won't up and leave after hooking up or treat me like crap afterward? I had a bad experience previously with a fwb. Things had been on the rocks, and we made up. We hooked up again and he treated me really badly on the friend front. He only made up because he wanted to "try me out," again. Once he got what he wanted, he turned into a jerk.

I don't think my ex is THAT bad, but I've heard some mixed things from his friends (he encourages hit it and quit it with younger friends, etc), so it's got me sort of wary.

I do plan on talking to him about if/when we hang out again. But even then, I find myself not sure if I can 100% believe what he'll tell me. Is there any way that I can tell that he will/won't use me just for hit it and quit it? I'm glad we're on speaking terms again but I hope it's not just because he wants to just hook up.

This site is useless for advice. :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • For him its probably cheaper and more legal to buy you nice dinner in turn for sex rather than picking up some strange disease ridden prostitute. I suggest you engage in a little hit it and quit it with him and your fists.

    Also as long as dudes that preach the hit and quit mentality keep getting laid its gonna keep happening. Do us good guys a favor and put a stop to this, starting with you and him.

    • I was surprised to hear that he was saying that to friends. He's changed a bit. I think he's been hanging out with too many jaded older guys. When I was with him, he was on the same side of things that you were. I don't know if he's just being all talk or what.

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